Rambled With Love

Love shoves me around this sanctuary of life; it recoils from within like a celestial gong as it reverberates within your soul.

Love brings us around. Love guides us drifted throughout the day.  Love, love, love, it lifts us up when feeling down.  Love walks with two steps upon the ground and four steps in, it sails with the wind.  It is love. It is solace.  But I do not care if it is solace.  I am no longer attached to solace.  I love God and that is why love will always carry me around wherever I choose to go.  I do not pay much attention to anything anymore if it is lacking in the realm of His love.  I haven’t the time for anything else but love.

And when the time clock of toil rings within my ears, it is like pulling teeth trying to make myself shift with the grind of life all because of love, this secret love, hidden love, opaque love, down in the depths of me and all around me, where I won’t talk about, where I don’t care to talk about.  And anyways, I don’t have the time let alone the energy to consider such trivial matters.

I only have time for the divinity of eternity, which is just another way of saying love, love, and more love.  Maybe a bit more common sense would snap me out of this, but love has always been seen as spotless through the mirror of clarity, and this I’ll always tell you.  I am not attached to it (one would hope) but it is love and it pierces with tenderness through the core of my being, where it is stamped soft upon the bottom of my heart.

Love shoves me around this sanctuary of life; it recoils from within like a celestial gong as it reverberates within your soul.  And I must be honest—love is the only thing that gives this heart of mine the gift that continues to tick.

Love radiates the way everything looks today.  The way it was up early this morning painting the dawn with shades of a bluebird.  These mountain peaks, they speak lovely in the silence of snowfall.  And through this patch of fog, or is it a cloud, or may it be smoke if You will, but it is love, and right now it is all I choose to see for You are here with me.

The boy, my child, he bounces brisk through the crackling snow, each of his footsteps symbolic for the fire sizzling within the comforts of the beast.  His thousandth question within the hour stumps me with a selfless attention and just like that the beast is gone.  He’s off seeking the answer somewhere buried in the depth of a childhood memory.  The boy he brings a balance to the beast, he keeps him bustling wild and on his toes.  I hear him sing a song under his breath, though hidden by the ruffling leaves, I begin to see, to hear, to sense the man he will grow to be within the love of You that now blooms in me.

This is the way things have come to be after prayer, and speaking of You while having a picnic with my child. Everything seems so mysterious yet simplified in Your Presence.  Your Son, Christ died for Love, not just in the collective sense, but within all senses, and even our very own sins, and this is the way that I shall write this, too. For once I feel whole because I am full with You.  You are the Love in everything I see as my own child has now taught me.

This is how “love” works, as I so often stood stoned by the choir of my thoughts, the less I worried about creating, the more possessed I became of Love.  There is a valuable lesson to be taught in the wealth of being poor in love.

Oh love, why can’t you leave me alone?  This is but a question built rhetorical in meaning: so please for the sake of Heaven don’t leave me alone.

At all times we must cooperate with love in His house, and His love sets a fast pace even in the first mile of the marathon, and if you don’t keep up, you may stumble and fall far behind.  And yet any speed is too slow for love—and no speed is too fast for you if only you would allow His love to lift you off your feet—after that you have to sail the “whole” way.  But it is only in our dual nature that we choose to come down from cloud nine and just walk instead, such is patience one would guess.

Allow me to be poor in the Light of You.  I’ve had a tough stretch of doubt, my thoughts twisting and turning, too much, as usual—such is the mind of a creative—always producing problems out of reality’s thinnest of air. This business sometimes burns me, and so I seek some proof.

Be exalted in your strength in the Lord; we will sing and praise your might.

Psalm 21 : 13

I am all dried up of desire and can only think of one thing—I shall stay put by this fire of You that burns so deep inside me.

These demons, my faults, my desire have all run dry, and yes my soul has softened like a wax the closer I am drawn to the candle of You.  We have come a long way turning the beast into creative energy, these shadows into support, my fear into fuel, my failures into kindling, my weakness into strength.  Let us not waste these agonies of life.  Let us use this pain to recycle all hearts with the Spirit of Love.

Amen.

-BeLove


Expressions Of Identity

Our purpose is not to simply be, but to work together in the collective sense with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny. 

A tree gives grandeur to God by existing as a tree.  It is by being just a tree that it is observing Him.  It consents to His creative love.  This tree, it is an expression of an idea which is in God and which is not distinct from the essence of God.  It is by expressing itself as a tree that it imitates God.

The more a tree is like itself, the more it is like Him.  If it tried to be something else that it was never intended to be, it would be less like God, and therefore it would give Him less majesty.

There are no two created beings that carry exact likeness.  Individuality should not be considered imperfection.  On the contrary, the perfection of each created thing is not merely an adaptive style to its abstract type but in its own individual identity with itself.  This particular tree will give glory to God by spreading its roots far and wide, it will raise its limbs into the air and it will seek the light of life in a way that no other tree before it or after it will ever do.

Each particular being, in its individuality, in its distinct nature and being, with all its own features and reserved abilities and its own sacrosanct identity, gives grandeur to God by being precisely what He wants it to be here and now, in the circumstances designed by His Love and His endless Art.

The formulae and certain charismas of all living and cultivating things, of inanimate beings, of beasts and blossoms—in reality all nature—constitute their holiness in the vision of God.  Their inward landscape is purity in its simplest form. It is the blueprint of His wisdom and His existence in them.

The unique awkward beauty of this Shetland pony, floundering in the snow saturated dirt on this chilly last day of November under these swelling clouds is a holiness blessed by God to His own creative wisdom and the glory of His nature at work, it alone asserts the glory of God.

These yellowed pale wildflowers along the side of this path that I am walking as we speak, the ones that most hardly ever notice, they are saints in their own simple way, grasping for the grandeur of God.

This leaf in my hand has its own roughness and its own ascending fractal pattern of veins, which characterizes its own holy nature, the brook trout hiding in the depths of this river are canonized by their specific speckled beauty and their strength.

IMG_9281

This great, wounded, half-naked mountain that looms ahead of me is one of God’s most majestic works of art. There is no one thing like her.  She is her own character—nothing else in the world ever did or ever will imitate God in the same way.  That is her sanctity.

What about you?  What about me?

Unlike the animals, the trees, and all of these inanimate beings, it is not enough for us to be what our nature intends.  It is not enough for us to be individuals.  For us unfortunately, holiness means more than humanity.  If we are never anything but people, we will not be able to offer to God the worship of our imitation, which is sanctity.

It is considered a truth to say that for me sanctity consists in being myself and for you sanctity consists in being your self and that, in the last consideration, your sanctity will never be mine and mine will never be yours, except in the collectivism of charity and grace.

For me to be me means to be myself.  Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and of discovering my true self.  And I must be honest, the more I place my eyes upon His scripted garden, the more I pray, I am coming to discover who I was meant to be.  But it is true that I still must walk this path, and it is also correct that this path is a lifelong journey, but I take pleasure in the beauty that I see and the beauty of His will that awaits me.

Trees and animals do not latch on to the same problems as we do.  God makes them what they are without consulting them and they live in the perfection of satisfaction.

With us it is entirely different.  God leaves us to be whatever we like.  We can be ourselves or not, as we please.  We are at liberty to be real, or to be unreal.  We may be true, we may be false, and that choice is ours.

Throughout life we may wear many different masks, if we so desire, and never emerge from our own true identity.  But this is a choice that must not be made with impunity.  Causes carry effects, and if we lie to ourselves and to others, then we cannot expect to find the truth and its reality whenever we happen to want them.  If one chooses the way of falsity one must not come to be surprised when the truth eludes them when they come to need it.

Our purpose is not to simply be, but to work together in the collective sense with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.  We are beings built from the freedom God so graciously gave us. By this I mean to say that we should not passively exist, but actively possess the awareness to participate in His creative freedom, in our own lives, and in the lives of others, by choosing the truth.

To say it even better, we are called to share with God the work of creating the truth of our existence in our true identity.  We often evade this responsibility by toying with masks, and this does please us because it appears at times to be a free and creative way of expressing life.  It is quite easy and it will seem to please everyone.  But in the long run, it may carry a cost and sorrow may saturate in the depths your soul.

We must work out our own identity in God, in which the Bible says as follows:

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

Philippians 2 : 12

To find our own identity is a laborious task that requires sacrifice and anguish, risks and many tears. It demands close attention to reality at every moment, and great fidelity to God as He reveals Himself via obscurity, in the secrecy of each new situation.

There is no clear-cut path that lies ahead of me and it is not known beforehand what the result of this work may be.  The secret of my whole identity is hidden in You alone.  You will make me who I am, or rather who I will be when at last I fully begin to walk in Your presence.

But unless I desire my identity and work hard to find it with You, the work will never be done.  The way I must do it is a secret I can learn from no one else but You. There is no shortcut to this secret without faith in You.  But I now know that prayer is a precious gift that is never fleeting, and it alone has begun to enable me to see and begin to understand the work that You want done.

The seeds that this tree has planted in my liberty at every moment, by Your will, are the seeds of my identity, my reality, my happiness, and most important my sanctity.

To refuse them is to refuse everything; it is the refusal of my existence, of my own identity, of my very own self.   So I will not refuse them, instead I shall water them with Your will.

Yours truly—

Ryan Love


Presence Of Prayer

What matters most in prayer is not to always be right and seek external forgiveness, but for you to carry a heroic heart filled faithful with grace and with love.

The man who does not warrant his spirit to be struck down and wounded by aridity and vulnerability, but who lets God lead him with peace through the wild, and desires no other support or guidance than that of pure faith and God alone, comes to find himself surrounded by the Promised Land.  He will savor the joy in the air within the union of God.  He will, without “seeing” a thing, have a consistent, comforting and mysterious awareness of the presence of God, acting upon all the events that make up his life.

The man who comes to find himself no longer afraid to abandon all of his spiritual headway into the hands of God, to put prayer, virtue, reverence, grace, and all of the other gifts within the presence of Him from Whom all gifts must come, will walk with peace in alliance with Him.  His peace is all the more sweet—because it is uninhibited from all care.

Just as the light of faith is darkness to the mind, is the supreme mystical activity of the mind and our will sharing prayer with His infused love.  There are times when prayer seems to us like inaction. This is why it is in the nature of our faculties to become restless with anxiety.  This is why sometimes our mind refuses to keep still.  It seeks to become the sole proprietor of its own act.   Just the thought that it cannot act according to its own spontaneous impulsion brings about it a suffered humiliation that the heart has to fathom.

As soon as there is any coherent indication that God is drawing the spirit into the ways of prayer, we ought to remain at peace in this prayer that is uttered with simplification, stripped of acts, our inner echoes wiped clean of images, while waiting in an emptiness of expectancy for His vigilant will to be done within us.   This waiting should be lacking anxiety and without a deliberate hunger for any experience that comes in close contact with our knowledge or memory, because any experience we feel we can grasp or understand would be shameful to the state in which God wishes upon our souls.

When the imagination (though it will remain active) no longer offers pleasure nor fruit, but only tires and upsets you even though it rests on the most attractive of natural things, it is wise to go get lost in the woods—to rekindle the imagination with God.  And it is then that you find peace layered in positivity derived from the fruits of resting in the expectation of God’s essence.  This is better than just sitting around persecuting your mind and your will with labors of vanity that try to finagle a few intimate affections out of them.

If you reflect to deep within your negative state, you will see your mind absorbed in a vast, ambiguous thought of God and your will becomes haunted, with a shaded and half-defined desire of God. These combine to produce in you the anxiety and darkness, which make eloquent and exacted acts seem so hard and futile.  And if you allow yourself to remain in this silence you may find that this thirst, this hunger that seeks God in the darkness, will grow within you and at the same time, although you find nothing that is tangible, peace begins to establish itself in your soul.

If and when praying, your mind simply departs and your will turns petrified—and you find yourself leaning upon a gate thinking about what you are going to have for lunch in half an hour, you’d be none the wiser to keep occupied with the definitive distraction of daily chores.  There is always the possibility of laziness lurking in the shadows of prayer.  This laziness will dress itself in the façade of a prayer spoken with simplicity, followed by degenerating into a sheepish sleep.  The absence of pure activity in no way turns you into a contemplative being.

This is a where a book has been known to sometimes help.  It is the Bible that most may use, but it can be a “spiritual” book of any kind to get you started in the sort of prayer where there isn’t much thinking involved.  As an example that caught my attention I have chosen the following scripture to share with you all.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3 : 5

When you find a paragraph or a sentence that appeals to your “state” of being, refrain from reading further and turn that sentence over in your mind and absorb it, and rest in its cosmic dance with the serene and effortless consideration of the thought, and not just in the details but as a whole, as something savored in its entirety—and so pass from this to resting in the quiet suspense of God.  If you find distraction running rampant, go back to the book—with the crucifix around your neck being held in hand—and read whatever sentences you see until the silence of His presence fills your mental prayer.

“a voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.’”

Mark 1 : 3

It is also out in the wilderness of these woods, alone, under a tree with nature as our only companion, where one comes to find distraction lacking.  The sweeping serenity of these swollen white peaks blanketed by Autumn’s first snow, painted beneath the sight of November’s waning moonlight—this is the beauty of Your nature—and it is enough to keep this prayer of mine riding the quiet interior “powder day” of Your peace and my desire for hours at a time.

The absence of activity in active prayer is only apparent.  Below the surface, the will of our mind is drawn into the orbit of a mystical activity that is deeply intense, which will flow furious into our being and bring forth eternal fruits.

There is no such prayer in which one does absolutely nothing.  If you are doing nothing you are far from praying.  On the other hand, if God is at the source of your bustling interior, the works of your faculties are beyond conscious judgment, and the results may not yet be seen or even understood.

Prayer is a simplified yet deep spiritual activity in which the mind and the will rest with a unified concentration upon God, turned inward to Him, intent within Him, and absorbed by His light, and as we gaze with adoration, as to say with silence towards Him that we have left everything by the wayside—no more expectations.  It’s just You and I, and I shall go with the flow within these channels of Your joy, that You so graciously placed in a conscious stream in front of me.

What one needs most in these journeys filled with darkness is an unwavering trust in His Divine guidance, as well as the courage to risk everything for Him.  In many ways the journey will sometimes seem like a foolish gamble.  And you may well ramble upon many mistakes.

Humility and obedient submission to the guidance of Christ will neutralize the effects of your many mistakes.  Even Christ himself wasn’t always right.  But you must trust in God, who writes straight upon crooked lines and extracts great goodness away from the trenches of evil.

What matters most in prayer is not to always be right and seek external forgiveness, but for you to carry a heroic heart filled faithful with grace and with love.  If God calls one to Him, and He subtly places a promise upon one with all the graces one needs to reach Him.  One will be blindly faithful to said promise.

Yours Truly—

BeLove


Author’s Note:

I have removed the like button moving forward.  All these words need is your eyes.  The comment section is open for business.  Please feel free to reach me in the collective sense.  Thank you for taking the time to read.  Godspeed and God Bless.

 

A Humbled Promise

Humility, that low, sweet root, from which all heavenly virtues shoot.

Some poets are not poets for the same reason that some spiritual men are not saints—they never prosper at being themselves.  They never get around to being the particular poet or spiritual person they are intended to be in the eyes of God.  And it is true that they never get around to being the man or artist that was built by the circumstance of their own life.

Years are squandered in the efforts of vanity to become some other poet, some other saint.  For reasons in the realm of absurdity, they feel indulged to try and summon some inner existence that perished centuries ago, which lived through circumstances wholly unfamiliar to their own reality.

They wear out their minds while exhausting their bodies through indignant endeavors with the promise of creating a one of a kind experience for those that cement themselves in the essence of spirituality.  And sometimes they do rush the experience to meet their own self-centered and exhausted demands.

Hurry has long been known to ruin the creative mind.  To often one seeks quick success and tends to drift with such haste to get it—that they cannot take the time to truly be themselves.  And when madness falls upon their mind they argue that this drifted haste is but a species of integrity.

Within all prodigious creative mind’s you find that humility and integrity coincide in the comforts of perfect balance.  The creative who understands this, knows that they are themselves because they have been humbled by God in some way, shape, or form.

As far as the accidentals of this life are concerned, humility will stand content with whatever it is that satisfies the generalities of a society.  This does not mean that in the essence of humility we should consist in being just as everyone else.

It is upon the contrary that humility promises to be the precise person that God intended you to be. And since no two people are alike, if you carry with you the humility to be yourself, you will not be like anyone else within the totality of this universe.

This individuality will not always assert itself upon the surface of daily routine.  It will not be a matter of mere appearance, or opinion, or ways of doing things.  It is something buried deep in the creative soul.  It is something within that only few can exude, something very similar to daylight’s prelude.

To truly exist in humility, the ordinary ways and means of men are not, in any way, a matter of conflict. The humbled do not worry about what everyone else is doing—the trends of others matter not.  To conform to, or lack thereof with these stumbled occasions in life, as a matter of life or death is to fill your inner self with unnecessary noise and confusion.

It is the humbled man that ignores this indifference by doing whatever it is in this world that helps him to find God while stumbling upon his purpose at the same time, all the while leaving the rest aside.  He learns to see with clarity that what is useful to him may seem useless to someone else, and what helps others find their purpose may ruin him.

Now we come to the purpose of this post.  It is when one makes a promise to God, to live humbled beneath the will of Him, that the spirit refines itself, it finds a peace with a common sense that knows nothing of sane morality.

Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.

Proverbs 18 : 12

There is no humility in insisting on being someone you are not.  One may as well go ahead and say to God, I know better than You, who I am to be. And how would you expect to walk your own journey home if you take another man’s road?  How should one reach his or her own self-delegated level of perfection by pretending to be someone else?

In this scenario, sanctity will never be yours; you must have the humility to work out your own salvation in a wilderness where you are absolutely alone.  And so from here humility takes a heroic turn when one decides it’s time to be nothing else than the man, the creative, that God intended him to be.

And honesty will often be fabricated as an illusion to seem like pride.  This is a thoughtful temptation because you can never know whether you are being true to the truth of you, or if you are merely fortifying a defense for the falsity of your personality—the creature of your own appetite for admiration.

But humility is at its most prominent when the lesson is learned that in the anguish of keeping your balance in such humbled demeanor—you continue to be yourself without acting tough about it, and without asserting your false self against the falsity of others.

Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be willing to  associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.

Romans 12 : 16

So let us pray.

Lord, too often and in too many ways I’ve put myself first—above my loyalty to You, above my recognition of sin, above my need for repentance, above my humble reliance on You for everything.  Today, Lord, I come to you with a promise that I will always be humbled by the grace of You, and I ask that You purge from me any selfish pride and help me to see all things as they really are.  You first. You always.  And I thank you for this beautiful day that awaits.

Amen.

-BeLove


Seeds Of Sanctity

Keep silent for the most part, and speak only when you must, and be brief.

-Epictetus

It is sad but true that in this day and age everything has to be a “problem.”  We live in a time of anxious demeanor because it is our manner of giving anxiety the opportunity to do what it does by creating a problem.  Anxiety is not something that is inflicted upon us with force from exterior elements.  We inflict it upon our own world and upon one another from within ourselves.

Sanctity in these modern days is prescribed with the meaning of having “no doubt,” as when the mind travels from one arena of anxiety to the next in which anxiety does not exist. And perhaps it may mean to lean upon God, to be without anxiety in the midst of anxiousness, so that the debris of doubt may be left for the next traveler to deal with.

In the sense of all that is fundamental—it boils down to the silencing of all contradicting distractions that border your being.  Spending a quality amount of time with silence helps to reconcile the contradictions within and around us.  And although they will always run rampant, these contradictions cease to be a problem, because the Man Upstairs is the only one who deserves our fullest attention in the depths of silence.

Contradictive conflicts have long existed within the soul of man.  Yet when man prefers evaluation to silence—conflict turns constant and carries no solidity to an insoluble situation.  We are in no way meant to resolve all contradictions but instead we must live with them and rise above them to heights where only internal solution sees them as the dimness of objective values in which they are, where they become trivial by comparison.

Silence, then, belongs to the substance of sanctity—in silence hope remains steady like a winter’s first snow while strength carries the weight of doubt away.

When silence used to surround me, I saw it as a problem—it was then that I could never escape my own mind to find silence.  Then came the day that silence, it ceased to be a problem, and I came to figure out that my mind must’ve influenced it all along.

Still though, I knew the problem would come back to the surface because the internal fruits of subjectivity and understanding would never be enough for my mind.   Silence is supposed to show us what is objective and concrete, and it does after awhile.

Silence is meant to be an intimate occasion with something far superior to this world, as beautiful as Being itself.  Silence is but a way that we may lean upon the sanctity of God’s silence in a deepened state of peace.

only in returning to me and resting will you be saved.  In quietness and confidence is your strength.

Isaiah 30 : 15

We are a society that puts words between our true selves and things.  In most cases even God has become just another abstract reality in a land of language that no longer serves as a means of unity with reality. But it is through His Word and the writing of words that I fall into the silence that I seek to move forward with myself.

As I’ve said once before silence clears the air that was once filled with the smokescreen of a man’s mind and his thoughts.  In silence we will always stand face to face with the bare being of things, and still we find in the nakedness of reality that is easy to fear, that neither are a matter of anxiety or indignity.

The naked reality of these words should be considered as being clothed in the friendly fabric of silence, and this silence is very much linked to all that is love.  The world that words attempt to categorize and control will always sit tight with us, and it is in silence where I have learned to know my reality by respecting it where words have sometimes corrupted it.

When one has lived alone long enough with the new reality surrounding him—adoration of God alone will bring forth a few intriguing words from this silence, and this is the maternal material of Truth.

Words fall between stillness and silence—between the silence of distraction and the silence of our own being.  And in between the silence of the world and the silence of God, words will always fall upon our soul.  When we are truly content and have known the world in its silence, words we learn are not what separate us from the world, nor from God, nor from ourselves because we know not to trust certain language to contain reality.  But it is within the silent sanctuary of the Psalm we find hope in the sound of sanctified words.

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.

Psalm 94 : 17

It is in stillness of the Psalm where we learn that truth rises in the silence of Being from the quiet tremors of His Word.  Then as we sink into silence again, the constricted truth of words pushes us down upon the silence of God.

Or rather He rises with a calm fury from the darkness of a moonlit sea, like a long lost treasure floating upon waves of words and when those waves of words recede—His brightness will forever be a light upon the golden shores of our being.

-BeLove


Enlightened Prayer

So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root. 

This morning I woke up and finally understood what I thought was arduous to understand. Progress.  It is the most industrious word in the English language. There is nothing that can undermine the very definition of the word progress.  The moment one decides to take a seat and deny progress the chance at defining itself, one should just go ahead and accept expiration’s invitation, so to shorten the pursuit of Paradise.  So without further adieu.

For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 10 : 10

Dear God—

It is in the purpose of this prayer that I look to find an expansion in my personal realization of Your love, and in the awareness of You that in light of my negativity that I find the positive side of myself.  It is as well in Your purpose that through this prayer I hope will lead to a further exploration and the discovery of a new dimension in freedom, illumination, and most of all love.  So please allow me to deepen the awareness of my life through You.

Through the experience of struggle I must now empty myself—I must let go of everything that makes up the old me and hope for full recovery in the grace of You.  Your grace it brings inner peace to us all.  It is through the resurrection of Your Son within me, that I hope to practice a newfangled method of mending my mentality—it is my hope that these methods shall take hold and transform this little life of mine.

It is in the personal awareness of You that the “mystical” experience of Your wisdom gives way to a self-renunciation of sorts, in which I see the silhouette of commitment walking closely by.  This commitment I now understand should be demonstrated at the highest level—way beyond the vagueness of intellectual assent and external obedience.

It is true that he, who looks to act and do “good works” for others of this world, must deepen his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and his own capacity to love, before he will truly be able to offer anyone anything.

He must come to grips with the deeper understanding of who he really is, and while I feel I am really close, it is possible that I may never know who I truly am. But with You at my side and in the depths of this prayer I feel something click within more than ever.

And while I feel that I have dissolved the boundaries of what rests within me to become more whole in the Presence of You.  We both know that more demons, are lining up, waiting there turn at trying to penetrate my soul, and bringing with them pain and suffering.

But with You in my heart, I have all the confidence in the world that the strength You give to me is all that I shall need to nurture these seeds You have planted within and all around me.  So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root.

Much Love-

BeLove


A Wisdom Whole

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.

-Aristotle

Devoid of thought—I sit with ease in this creative room.  The fountain of my mind moves with the tranquility of a winter’s brook.  From the silence comes a light, followed by a prosperous thunder that shook the fountain loose, and a stream, it flowed through an open door.  Low and behold, behind that door sat a man with the silhouette of a wolf at his side.  He observed with content and about him was a homeliness that alleviated my senses, and the words that follow are the words I spoke.

The differences of conflicting forces in this world that surround us arise with an immediacy that is evident to the senses, and not just as an ample illusion.  But as men, we become too intent on analyzing these variations—divvying them up between good and evil, and that which is essential and detrimental.  It is true that the more we analyze these variations, the deeper they become immersed in illusion.

Man will then lose sight of the deep, underlying connection of these opposites within him because he becomes obsessed with the posturing of his separateness.   It is in reality that the distinction to be made is not between this unseen force, which is good and true, as against that force which is evil and false.

Rather it is the perception of our underlying wholeness that holds the key to the locked door that leads to the truth and the goodness of You, while attachment to the superficial separation of us leads to inaccurate and ethical errors.  So let us use this key and open that door.

“to God all things that are good are just and right, but men hold some things wrong and some right.”

-Heraclitus

And in the mystic of You underneath this splendid dusk, let us speak.

You see all things as good and right, not in their separateness by which they are so falsely contrast to all else, but in their inner harmony with these so-called opposites. In the end it is man that separates all that You have “united.”

This instinct that You have placed within me, it has allowed me to see through the smoke of materialistic multiplicity, which billows from the “Fire” of unity.  This “Fire” burns from the fuel of You burning within me.

This “Fire” has blazed its way through the landscape of the old me, clearing the way for the undergrowth of a new spiritual and dynamic principle within me within You.  Is this not the hidden meaning in my dream?  The foggy smoke always wrapping around my head, leaving me lost and afraid, while the wolf—he trails close behind?

The “Fire” of You, it is the comforting warmth I have always sought.  Yet, when I came so close I ran from it because all I could smell and see was smoke and all I could sense was my fear of the hungered beast, which in turn made You and the dream seem so illusory.  And I must apologize for that.  I now see it as true that instead of running from the fear within me, I had to turn inward to face the reality of the darkness within me, to find You.

I had to come to grips with all of the clumsy slip-ups I have made in this life, with my lack of self-control—I became to compartmentalized to communicate within my own self clearly.  Yet, I have learned that I shall run in the direction of my inward ways moving forward with full control.

The “Fire” I now see it everywhere I look, and within everything I see.  It burns with divine energy, a powerful manifestation of You within me.  And now I see the power of You move through all things.  Good, bad, happy, or mad, there You are, to remind me that I am on the right path, after all I am still breathing.

This “Fire” it burns different within all souls, with its different aromatics of love and faith, like varietal perfumes that blend with the beauty of You.  This is how You move through the infinite variety of beings, as they manifest You however You choose within them.  These words that follow from Your scripted garden are the words that You have chosen to move through me beneath this beautiful twilight.

When he balanced the foundations of the earth;  I was with him forming all things and was delighted every day, playing before him at all times;  Playing in the world and my delights were to be with the children of men.

Proverbs 8 : 29-31

You are not just the “Fire” or the combination of any of the other elements for that matter.  You are the energy that works through the world by showing itself, much like a child’s endless energy. Then you seek to hide in the “nature” of all things with Your wisdom.  This wisdom isn’t so much “at work” in nature, but is rather “in play” throughout the wilderness of us all.

“Time is a child playing draughts. The power of a King is a child’s”

-Heraclitus

This reference to a child playing the game of draughts is a metaphor for the flow of Your wisdom through us.  The understanding that Your cosmic wisdom is always in a constant state of becoming and change—like a child playing in this world—and this cosmic interplay of elements in its state of constant dynamic flux is the true expression of Divine Law. The hidden harmony with its unity—is what keeps everything in balance in the midst of conflict and movement.

True wisdom must grasp upon the very movement itself, and infiltrate the thought within this dynamic harmony of Your Love moving through us.  If wisdom is one thing—it is to know the thought by which all things are steered through all things through the love of You.  It is in these beautiful and lost scripted words of Yours below that these fragmentary thoughts of mine shall complete today’s puzzle.  Let us introduce you to the Book of Wisdom.

And all such things as are hid and not foreseen, I have learned:  for wisdom, which is the worker of all things, has taught me.

For in her is the spirit of understanding: holy, one, manifold, subtle, eloquent, active, undefiled, sure, sweet, loving that which is good, quick, which nothing hinders, beneficent.

Gentle, kind, steadfast, assured, secure, having all power, overseeing all things, and containing all spirits, intelligible, pure, and again subtle.

For wisdom is more active than all active things: and reaches everywhere by reason of her purity.

For she is a vapor of the power of God, and a certain pure emanation of the glory of the almighty God: and therefore no defiled thing cometh into her.

For she is the brightness of eternal light, and the unspotted mirror of God’s majesty, and the image of His goodness.

Wisdom 7 : 21-26

It is through these words that I feel the Presence of You moving through me like never before.  Wisdom—it is a metaphor that looms of woman, the nurturer of all knowledge, the Mother of all men, and the purity of all that is divine.  It is from the time Your seed is planted within the womb, and through childhood, through adolescence and now adulthood, the answer has always rested within the motherly Love that reigns in all women.

Your Presence, I feel it stronger than ever in this precise moment, as sure as these hands are shaking with vibration, they manage to merge with the redemption and divinity of Your wisdom.  I feel an attunement within me never felt before, and it feels whole.

At my side the wolf, he paces with patience, held by a leash tied to Heaven above—his whispered howl echoes through my entirety.  The moon it glows full, raindrops fall upon my soul, showing a path laden with spiritual goodness.  One that I have long aimed to ramble about.  This wilderness is about to get wild.

-BeLove


Wrestling Fear

Perfect love casts out all fear.

1 John 4 : 18

As far as I’ve come, You and I both knew that at some point I was bound to stumble.

Yet aren’t You the one whom placed the root of this tree here upon where I slipped?  And are you not also the one who placed this limb behind me—that as I fell backwards—allowed my clasping hands to save me from tumbling?

And yes, I do understand that I’m the one at fault for allowing external distractions to consume my curiosity, instead of staying the course.  And it is of great regret that I let the presence of You escape me so this ego of mine could “mind its head.”

And yes when the demons came knocking at the door—I was the one who let them in, because every once in awhile loneliness does creep within the shadows of my sanctity.  Such is human nature, I should suppose with sentimental value.

So in my ignorance could You please pardon my negligent behavior?  And I know you had a Hand in helping me give those demons the boot as Your presence restructured the distracted recreations of my mind and once again I’m glad to feel You take root.  So allow me to thank You for being You.

When the grind gets the best of my mind, my whole being comes to be exhausted.  Then comes the adrenaline churning similar to an undertow of fear.  Meanwhile the demons strong-arm my weakened soul out of the way, searching high and low for somewhere to go.

But if I believe, and seek the Spirit, again I see You move Your mysterious ways.  And together as we ascend this mountain of my mind—things shall become clearer as the fog of this wilderness lifts on through.

So now as my soul and You have taken back the reigns and have carried me home safe and sound, my feet they fall from shaky ground, and upon your garden bed I read and this is what I found.

“And not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.”

Colossians 2 : 19

My whole being breathes in a wind that wraps around my head, moving through my limbs and I fall silent within my heart.  My hand is on a door, which leads beyond.  The door swings open to an ocean of darkness layered with the light of prayer.

Is this how I come to be—this way—my simple instance of death.  I expect at any moment this starlit sky above so clear shall deliver a bolt of lightning upon my being. And are You to open a door upon this boundless wilderness and set these feet upon a ladder, reaching for the moon, and take me out upon Your stars?

Far above me I see the calming sky open up to a warming distance—the sun it seeks to kiss the horizon—waking me from my stumbled slumber.

I feel the aggravation of anxiety escape my being, bound for its own isolation.  It is the man that fears to be alone, who will never be a thing but lonely.  But the man who learns—through recollection and seclusion—to be truly at peace knows no loneliness.

I do prefer the hidden reality of You upon this four-cornered room of my mind these days.  It is true that this relationship between You and I thrives in these silent conversations held within this Calvary of mine.   It is in its stillness where the questions I have long sought, are being answered through the Spirit passing through.  And now I know there is no such thing as fear when listening deeply for wisdom within You.

So allow me to cast out is this fear.  Fear, it squeezes the life out of Your love, narrowing the hallways that lead to my own heart.  It takes from the power I should give myself through You and it withers away at my capacity to truly Love through You.  So I beg for Your mercy, and to please, so soon shall you shake me of this fear.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.

Matthew 6 : 34

You are the Tree and I am but a seed fallen from You, and yes I am happy to be growing in Your light.  But You and I both know tomorrow marks two years to the day that You pointed this pen between my fingers in the direction of You—but let us not speak so fearless yet.

I do know it is within the ambiguities of “doing good” that I must have You and myself wholeheartedly convinced of my own uprightness and goodness.  So please let’s You and I continue this work on winning the war within myself before all else.

And just as the sun rose beautiful on the Second day ever, the sun with it’s stunning light peaks through.  I take my eyes off the past and bend my hopes and dreams towards today.  A smile You created dawns on me, and as a wolf howls distant—once again I have found peace in Your presence. And let it be noted that I can’t thank You enough for all that You do.

-BeLove


A Prayer Wild

The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the song of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.

John 3 : 8

High noon has long passed and I can feel the winds of twilight move through my soul.  I imagine it moves through me much the same as He moved through the first evening of creation.  The freedom of desolation that pours from my heart comes to find itself filled with His Spirit, and once again the Holy Ghost and I walk together beneath a setting sun leaving even Him smitten.

I stare in awe at the pastel lit sky and speak silent again.

As the darkness approaches, please allow me to bask in this higher light of you before I lose myself in this wilderness I call home.  I know that within You there is a light that I have yet to fathom, because there is no known knowledge of the light you truly exude upon a lost soul.  Yet what I feel seems so very real.

I understand that what you truly offer cannot be pinned down to any certain concept that I have complete knowledge of.  I do know that within the scripted garden of Your Word, I feel a peace within me I never knew existed, and for that I can’t acknowledge you enough.  It is also through the potency of prayer that I am starting to touch my dreams with my own two hands.

The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the song of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.

John 3 : 8

And as my hands cinch together with dovetail technique, I wish to truly encounter You as this darkness washes over the landscape of me.  In the simplicity of You, I see a light that isn’t bound by a medium in which channels us as one.

For there is no explanation of You, when the experience of You is all that I need to feel as You quietly testify Your love for me.  We are one; we have always been one, even though I didn’t see that until recently, and for that I hope You carry no hard feelings.

Yet it is in the union of Your light and my soul that I see a path start to clear; with You leading the way to the aforementioned Promised Land with the Spirit Of Christ in tow. The Son, Your only Son, that You suffered with grace through sacrifice—not just for You and I—but for all souls.

And for that I truly hope that all understand the truth in the meaning of sacrifice, because I don’t think that most have a firm grasp on what it means to truly sacrifice.  After all, everybody wants to go to Heaven to see You but nobody wants to die.  But let us speak on a deeper level of the Paradise that awaits further down this road.

It is in the simplicity of You, where all that is trivial in this life, becomes coherent in the uncharted waters of pure bliss.  It is in us that You have chosen to dwell and as for those of us who understand the simplicity of Your presence, let us forever imitate the Love of You. Whether that is via avenues of creativity or through the worship of your Gospel when testifying to You moving within us depends entirely upon which room you decide to carry us into.

But for those who don’t understand the depths of Your Love, please prepare them for the beast at bay, because you know as well as I do. Actually you know better than I do.  He is sitting back waiting to howl, scoping the battlegrounds, hunting down the hate—with none other than the presence of Your Love pouring into his heart.

And yes it is true, that in the sight of You, I know my purpose is trivial, but it is my purpose, You put it there, so as I have fallen so many times before, You have picked me up, and placed me where I needed to be.  I plead with You now to allow me the time, the inner peace, and the fashion to allow You to move through me in Your own way.  As I am awakening in You, and You in me, let us turn each other inside out, making this emptiness fill itself with the wisdom of Your vision and the purity of You—while giving them all a glimpse of Your cosmic dance.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29 : 11

Yet the fact does remain that You invite us to forget ourselves on purpose—to cast upon us a dreadful gravity that ascends upon Your wind and join You in the dance.  And now I see that it is our one true and upright purpose to continually seek You in all aspects of life.  And because of that I will forever testify in Your name.  And I thank you for showing me the light looming in this wilderness of me.  Amen.

Yours Truly,

BeLove