Illuminating Light

Into the woods I go, to sharpen my soul and make myself whole.

I must speak with clarity that I write these words as a person who has lately experienced light. I am not speaking in particular about “the light.” It is a kind of light-in-the-being, which in all honesty, is a difficult thing to be precise when pinpointing its genesis. This is especially pointed out with precision in the pace of today, where so many erroneous, silly delusive actions and phenomena litter the landscape of a simple life.  But it is you the reader that should consider it as something highly spiritual passing through.  It is I, the author, whom considers it to be God.   

This light though, however it comes to be explained, is now a real element of who I am, like the breath of life in itself. I have experienced it once before, and it has lasted long enough to convince me of an altogether unreasonable amount of joy.  And it is once I felt the light for all it is was worth, that it has since become second nature to me. But if the light vanishes, a man will spend the rest of his time on this earth seeking the light.  

As the man looks all around, he starts to see “the light” in all things.  It will begin to shine everywhere he looks, in conversations with strangers, in the glow of an afternoon rainstorm—it seems to illuminate most everything that gives rhythm to his creative storytelling soul.  So now allow me to add a little light as to why I will forever write.

The semantics of poetry and storytelling run the same course as the language of dreams.  In the light of both contemporary and ancient dreams over the years, and as well as the sacred texts and works of such mystics as Rumi, Homer, and Merton and the work of poets such as Dickinson, Whitman, Pessoa, and so on. There appears to be within the soul, a poetic and artistic function that surfaces when a person spontaneously or purposely ventures towards the instinctual core of the soul. 

The Wilderness Within

This place in the soul is where dreams, stories, poetry, and art all meet.  It establishes itself as the enigmatic environment in the instinctual and wild nature within, or as I like to call it, the wilderness within us all.  In contemporaneous dreams and poetry, in the old folktales and scribes of the mystics, the entire atmosphere of the soul is understood as having a life of its own, or the world to itself.  It is most often symbolized in poetry, painting, music, and dreams—as one of the vast elements such as the burgeoning depths of an alpine lake so blue, the windowpanes of a sunlit sky, the windblown dust of earth, or a flickering flame, forever kept trimmed and burning with His oil.  

Into the woods I go, to sharpen my soul and find myself whole.

From the core—mystical matters and notions rise up through the person who experiences “being-touched-by-the-light.”  From there the person may engage the audience by talking about the edge.  But you must know that this edge has forever been a metaphor for the edge of my soul.  The fear of straddling this edge, the jumping from cliffs, it was all within the well of me.  Myself, diving headfirst into the once shallow waters of me.  It was about finding out how deep I was willing to go.  And the following is how I have come to find myself whole.    

It is then, when the creative mind becomes exhausted from the hauling of its own fleeting ideas and matters born of ego, he will carry this ideological and egotistical weight to said edge of himself and throw every last ounce of it from the cliffs of his conditional being.  The rightful sensibility in this is that his creative capabilities will be returned glowing infused with God, or washed with the soul’s remarkable psychic sense of life.  Either way, this carries a seismic effect within, a sort of profound and sudden awakening, and a channeling of the senses that revolutionizes the mood with a heart of heroism.  

When one is renewed, his overall mood changes.  When one’s mood is changed, one’s heart is changed. This is why the language of dreams, images, and the poetry that arise from the soul are so important.  In combination, they have the power to change one thing into another in a way that is so testing and torturous to accomplish by our will alone. And in the sense of sensibility within all of this, the core Self, the instinctual and wild Self, the authentic Self, finds itself whole, as both healer and life-bringer. Now, if you would all be so kind as to allow me to? Allow me to leave you with the direction I seem to be heading.

Whenever a story or fairytale is told, it becomes night.  No matter the dwelling, no matter the time, no matter the season, the telling of tales causes a star laden sky and a sun-reflected moon to rise from underneath the eaves of reality and hover over the imagination of the captive audience.  Sometimes by the end of the tale, the dwelling is filled with daybreak, other times shards of stars are left behind, and sometimes even a storm-ridden sky will turn to sunshine.  

But whatever it is that is left behind, it is the abundance that the creative has to work with, and he shall forever try and use this abundance to show all souls the way towards His light.  But for now I must get some rest. Sleep tight. 

“For God’s gifts and His call can never be withdrawn.”

Romans 11:29

-BeLove

Illuminating Love

You are the soul of the soul of the universe, and your name is Love.

-Rumi

One must bear in mind the odd angles that the rays of love have to take in order to reach a heart like mine. It is in the nature of love that we are here to love without condition. But the reality is that conditional love runs rampant, rearing its ugly head on those relationships we hold so dear. The effects of conditional love have become so distorted that the flesh takes flamboyant turns in the direction of that which lay behind us. It has become plain as day to me that most all of us compare today to tomorrow with that which happened yesterday.

In the deformity of loving with conditions, unconditional love is suppressed and the soul is left powerless. Therefore conditional love will not let us alone from suffering. But if you see the purity of love for what it is worth, you begin to understand that we owe our entire existence to unconditional love, because unconditional love is indeed the settled debt of the soul.  Once that debt is settled, suffering sees itself away from the heart.

My whole being has long applauded the idea of unconditional love. Though I haven’t always been one to practice unconditional love because of the conditions that I myself have bound to love. I have often obligated it to my own attachment with the expectations of what I believed love should be. It is in my opinion that this has always been wrong.

Rays Of Love

It is unfortunate that it took me this long to finally figure it all out.  But it is better to have learned late than to have not learned at all. The only way I came to understand this was by making it a priority to love myself without conditions.  It was tough to achieve, especially in the struggles of finally putting the ego to rest.  But it did happen through extended contemplation and in the due process of rewiring my heart with my soul. All of this has helped me to see what unconditional love truly is with a newfound intensity. You see unconditional love is as light as it is heavy, which holds steady with an all around balance.

It Is What It Is

Pure love—unconditional love—is the poetry of life.  A poet will come to understand that there is nothing of value without love and of course death—more on death down the road. For this post I wish to keep these words somewhat aligned with that of jubilation and joy.  See without love, there are no lessons.  Without love there is no darkness for the diamond in the rough to shine.

Today’s culture is quick to throw love off the cliffs of belief into the icy waters of doubt far below.  For not only are they scared, but they lack the patience to see love for what it’s truly worth.  Which I have come to find is both timeless and priceless.  There is no fear in love. Pure love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made pure in love. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:7

This world has become for the most part soul-less. Though there is an awakening of sorts happening amongst us, this too shall be discussed later on down the line.  The world nowadays with its “tinder” love and don’t care mentality emboldens a quicker, thrashing about to find a swift spark to bargain with someone that burns forever in the now.  But the miracle of love we seek takes time: time to find it, time to nurture it, and then time to bring it to life.  After all, lust is just a maze, in which love can’t find its way.

The modern ways in which we seek love have become conditioned to that of perpetual motion.  When in fact the purity of love is perpetuity in itself, carried by the notion of chivalry. There is no surprise in the fact that all of us wanting to love become confused and anxious, while dancing with the madness of conditional love, unable to stop the frantic jig, while spinning past the things we, in the deepest part of our souls cherish the most.  But I quit spinning a couple of years ago. Please bear in mind this does not mean that I am not spun. There’s that double negative again;)  

Though there is a way, a better way, which takes into account that of human error.  Our fears, our quirky behavior, our atrocities that shadow our eccentricities, they are very much held accountable.  And it just so happens, in the cycle of individuation, we are guaranteed to stumble upon something that points in the direction of said way… 

Roots Of Love

This path I have long walked has forever been riddled with the roots of love. It is just ahead through the canopy of this forest, a subtle sign from heaven above seeps through showing the way. A long lance of sunlight lights my longing for this world to see the truth of unconditional love. But first I must fully feel the truth of it myself for myself. I slow my steps, careful not to trip over my own two feet until I come to a stand still.  Though it is in no way that I am guaranteed not to fall—yet these words they are certain to spill.

A Sense Of Bliss

This stillness, the solemnity that broods in these woods, it sparks a sense of loneliness as it tells itself upon my spirit. But it is in spirit that I have found happiness in this solitude, and this is where I found bliss on the way through to You. The loneliness that has often simmered in the silence of my mind has given me something I thought I would never find, that being You. This is You moving through me, is it not?

My soul shivers more often that not with Your intent nowadays. While my hopes and dreams, they bend toward Your light. This light looks to promise growth in the warmth of Your love. It satisfies my desire to feel the love I need, the love of You. It is true, this light, Your warm-heartedness alone seems to speak directly to my spirit with hints of something that will always fill my heart with a sensibility that is forever unconditional. 

You are the soul of the soul of the universe, and your name is Love.

-Rumi

I feel a love within myself growing in the depths of redemption with You.  It is the unwavering love that we have all cherished from those who have perished upon Your Heaven above. It’s unconditional in every sense of Your word. It is pure, it is clean, it is angelic, and in Your nature it will forever be illuminating. And yes, I do have so much more to say, but let us save it for a rainy day. You see, it is true, rain—has always assumed growth.   

See you all soon.

—BeLove 

     

Adjusting The Sails

You may not end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where He meant for you to be.

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

-William A. Ward

Life will always find a tailwind when creating something out of thin air.  In the mere reflection of life we require a creative and graceful wind—a special sort of fidelity with our inner nature that moves us in the direction of God.  Life requires stability too. It demands a maturity of the creative gusto of our soul, which is not easily met in the constant adjustments of direction about the long and perilous journey through the sea of life.  This life seems to result from the very least—in the experience of the artistic experiments that our creative soul has been quietly dreaming up to live amongst Him in the Kingdom of better days.  

God’s Will

To reflect upon life with transparency, we must look towards God. We must keep the mind quiet. All the while allowing calmness and purity to at once become the well-kept condition of our being and the consequence of His vision for us as individuals.  It is up to us to adjust the sails, and to allow His wind to carry us wherever He intends.  This to me is the truth of life—the everlasting hope that breathes with each gust of life’s wind.  It is the reason why I believe He created us; to create Him in our own creative way.

The Tree Of Life

All a man should seek, other than God and his true self, is an opportunity to work his heart out through heightened work—to express the sensibility of his soul and to declare the lovely feelings of his time.  He should seek to discover deeper purpose in his own creative meaning, as well as, the truths of the nature that both surround and entangle him.

He must use with confidence all of the delightful opportunities with his time on this earth—that God has so graciously given to him. It is most important to reflect upon ourselves in the creative sense, and to listen with the wind for the clandestine sounds of love and truth that He created deep within us all, long ago.

On Writing 

This writing began, in all reality as just a covert operation on my lifelong doubt in God and myself—the longing, the swelling heart, the raging eagerness of feeling deserted, and the painful keenness of an infinite and unidentified need for some purpose higher than this fallen world can offer.

Before I started to write again, I felt my imagination was headed for the shallow waters of mediocrity. And I wasn’t happy with my creativity drowning in the stagnant puddles of life.  Why did my imagination have to give up its full and free connection to the universe, is it not a living garment of God?

Finesse Found

I guess at the midway point of my life it comes to this. That as a creative individual I have often sought ways to prove what’s in my heart—the love, the poetic hunger for purpose, the swelling excitement over her unparalleled beauty—for which there are no acceptable terms of knowledge, just wisdom. Is it not the creative mind that is better off with hints, as opposed to extensive knowledge?  But in the end we need not apply for the right to love in this world, we just do it because it is what God has intended for us all along. 

When one writes his way through a spiritual awakening, it is bound to get a little too deep in spiritual schisms. The enigmatic engine will burn a little hot and sporadic from time to time.  As one exorcises both the evil and the good from within him he will find numerous darkened paths up the mountain of his mind, and it is often as one approaches the off-beaten paths of his thoughts he will find himself betwixt and between, the sanctuary of beauty and the asylum of madness.

But just before he chooses between the paths, by God, the wind He blows it something fierce, and his ship gets turned around, away from the storms of himself.  A smooth seam of glasslike water shows itself upon this sea of life, and he must adjust the sails for what he hopes is the sanctuary of His will.  So as we sail towards the shore of big news, please allow me a moment to reflect on this creative written venture.  

The shores of bliss.

On Overthinking

Let us not forget, that I had been a complete idiot until I started this blog and a partial idiot after that.  So that being said, I will always be something of an idiot.  I have overthought and rambled my way through my mind at my own pace and in all kinds of directions in search of something. It does happen to turn out that something was God. That’s where this path always led if you all haven’t yet noticed?  It has become more than obvious that this sharing of my thoughts was just an extended errand for the sake of my soul.

It is true when I said that I believe this blog has been my own way of working myself through an existential crisis.  My peculiar tendencies to get to the bottom of my purpose in life and to myself are of mine and God’s genuine demeanor, and I think these words alone can verify that.  If they can actually guarantee a damn thing, I suppose is up to me.

My thoughts even now, they sit here simmering. Still, at some point they must come to a full boil. As my very fingers rehearse these written words, how would my mind work the notes of my imagination’s trumpet, when it was ready to blow alas?  Would the peals of written brass be heard beyond this earth?  Would Christ, the faculty savior of my imagination’s truth be roused, and may we together look with awakened eyes upon the true beauty of Heaven on earth?  

I have always thought of thoughts as real constituents of being.  So now with all of my being I must drop anchor upon the shores of home. As I look back at this sea of words, this venture of my bared soul that has shown the chaos, the beauty and all else in between the storms of my mind—I regret none of it. But comes a time for a man to walk in the direction towards his known purpose for a quick minute. 

Recognize what is in your sight, and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you, for there is nothing hidden which will not become manifest.

-Christ  

Living The Dream

Last week I was offered and have accepted what I have long considered a dream job.  And until I find my full stride along the new path in my career, my time is going to be precious.  I am going to play Executive Chef for this quaint but busy little bistro-style bar and grill along the shores of the closest place I know to be bliss, that being Lake Tahoe.  I have longed to get back to “painting” plates and creating dishes that grow from the garden of my soul. It’s going to be more than hectic enough all summer to occupy most of my mind. Which let us all be honest here, it is what this mind of mine needs. 

My new home away from home.

 The outdoor barbecues, the granules of sand tormenting sunburnt children with bliss, the beach with its perfect seventy five degree sunny days, the drive and motivation to be proud of collective success, is all that I need at this point in my life.  The sunsets and sunrises, my buddy picking me up from work on the boat, it’s all quite the blessing. The Man Upstairs has a beautiful plan and I’ll even be able to afford Him the favor back by frequenting an early service of Church on Sunday mornings.

This summer will be beautifully orchestrated chaos, but I am better at harnessing the chaos of a kitchen, and all its moving parts, than I am at constructing the chaos of my own mind.  Plus, the creativity and responsibility that comes with this job, gives me a sense of purpose I haven’t felt since my son was born. Whom by the way turns five today. Happy birthday big rig. For Heaven’s sake they grow up so fast. Here’s to your day filled with creativity and cupcakes. He is a Pisces kid through and through.

Happy Birthday Kiddo. The reason why I strive to be who I am to be.

The Takeout 

The dream hasn’t changed, but He has changed the course of the wind, and I must adjust the sails towards the direction of a different dream.  I feel that there is still a purpose to my writing, there always will be when speaking of Him and His love.  

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

But it is but for a bit, that this all has to be put on the back-burner of reality.  It seems to be His will for now, and I am no longer one to fight against that.  We need not forget though, that where there are multiple outlets of creativity, the mind’s ability to create becomes lest congested. So in order to right this ship long lost in a sea of words, I must set the sails in the direction of the good fight, for myself and of course, love and His will.

In Closing

In order to build a recipe out of words it is imperative to string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurd.  This has become the basis of American art.  And if my position is correct, another feature is the slurring and stumbling of the point.  A third feature is the placement of a well-traveled remark with the transparency of not knowing it, as if one were thinking out loud.  The fourth and final is indeed the pause…

—BeLove

That way you give the audience the time to divine that a surprise is intended;) 

The wicked flee though no one pursues (Prov. 28:1). That being said, I’ll be back sooner than I am able.

For Goodness’ Sake

I sink with the weight of a thousand unanswered prayers—the ice-cold pain of rejuvenation sets its hook in my soul.

I now know the questions of my dreams are ones that only God can answer.

Goodness is achieved not in a vacuum, but in the spreading of hope, always attended by love. 

Some sort of mirrored reality stares back at my reflection—hollow with eyes blue as the void.  I see the edge. My mind walks along some celestial cliff. Paralysis attacks my legs.  My stomach swims through an ocean of butterflies. I feel my heart pound with the rhythm of the crystal blue, white crested waves of persuasion churning below me, as they crash with winter’s effervescence.  

My imagination falls upon a field of metaphors and instead of picking these written wildflowers for you, I leave them scattered about for you to decide? Which are worth picking and which are worth leaving behind to bloom?

This life, this story, this blank piece of paper, these words, what significance should they all carry? What is it all for?  It has to be for something not wrong, but right—right? I am able to do what’s right, or should I stand wrong, maybe corrected?  What is a man to do in the fashion of goodness’ sake? 

As I fall from the cliffs of some astral dream, like hundreds of times before, the cement painted sky above comes to collide with the baptismal blue waters of the place I call home.  I sink with the weight of a thousand unanswered prayers—the ice-cold pain of rejuvenation sets its hook in my soul.  I wake up in a cold sweat.  I now know the questions of my dreams are ones that only God can answer.    

Creative Outpost

All through life, we are established and broken.  Then we are broken and rebuilt. Such is the American dream, in its current blood red state of self-destruction. Its obsession with the self-destructive particulars of the wounded man has grown to be comical. These words were first written in some creative outpost, so it’s time we get down to business.  If love were ever to become a revolution, I can’t think of better time to fan the flame. 

Somebody asked me the other day, if I thought I was some kind of warrior?  My response was, “Absolutely not. The moment I decorate myself as a warrior, is the moment the ego bears judgment on my being. One does not self proclaim themselves to be a warrior.  This is full of idolatry and pride.  The soul speaks chivalrous or it doesn’t.  It is as simple as is it sounds. I just want to do right by the boy and by God. Although love is his namesake, it is for goodness’ sake that I do this for Him.” She looked a bit lost in my answer but you could see the light shine in her eyes as it came to make sense.   

The Poet Barks

But at some point the poet will contradict himself, and as of now, I cannot think of a better time.   There is no time like the present to revolutionize my mind.  It is my very own idea of love.  It is but a jubilee, maybe a rendition of what love, or even who I used to be.  

Love is everywhere we look.

Man’s association with chivalry is pretty much dead.  The self-proclaimed warrior is associated with uselessness, because he does not respond voluntarily.  A warrior knows his purpose, it is rigorous and it takes a special state of mind that is eternally unbending.  To be a warrior is to be a seed of God’s purpose and to nurture His love wherever one goes with consistency.  I guess where I am going, isn’t this or that way, but it is His way.  Therein lies the difficulty of finding the seed of our purpose in a garden filled with God, faith, and wildflowers, and unfortunately, evil.

Rambled Structure

The goodness in the garden of good and evil wasn’t that far gone, so hope had stuck around, and because of this, goodness held a solid chance.  So with these words, please allow me this dance.  

Americans! With our outrageous ideas of love, saturated in the outpouring of domestic tragedy.  Who are we to think so highly of ourselves, after all of the wars, the wholesale revolutions, devastation and death camps? We’ve soaked the earth with the blood of both the innocent and the guilty. 

And still it spills forgiven from our hands?  In the cremation of love, evil lingers in the scent of ashen hate.  Hate but a hungry beast, fed through the vacuum of fear, racial indifference, and disbelief, and never in the sense of preserving goodness’ sake.  What do our personal troubles amount to?  Do we really suffer, compared to the others some consider of equal or lesser value? America’s democratic abundance does have its own peculiar complications. Does it not?

God’s Experiment

America is God’s experiment, such an experiment of dogmatic unity gone wild.  Many of the wounds created by the dogma of elder civilizations have long been healed with this newfound wound, which is a mystery in itself.  America didn’t like those who walked with this curious value that lacked pride.  It ostracized those who embodied the special interest of compassion.  America has lost its ability to understand the truth in the love of liberty and finding one’s self.  

The goodness of man was created in scarcity.  So what shall we anticipate from the false facilities of man with his plenitude?  This is why the world could always use a couple more writers written in as poets, to maybe point out the flaws of the hardened heart.

In the adolescence of America, love was built on the template of a myth. It’s why we fell head over heels in love with the idea of love.  Love is the thickness in our blood, rich with the platelets of self-desire. It was intricately embroidered with the fine print of bliss, but then our boys had to go across the pond and paint the hillsides of Europe with the blood of fascistic imperialistic belief.   

Women were then given an image to uphold and the wild soul of woman was slowly cut off from her genuine self.  The boys, they came back patriotic but broken men, suffered from the inevitable effects of evil, while death was seared into every sight they would see for the rest of their lives.  This was the beginning of the end in my opinion, love put on a mask of comfort and sensibility, covered by the veil of fear and pain. This was when pure love went into hibernation.  And sometimes a poet must carry the weighted stick that pokes the bear of love and lead it back into the wild where it belongs.

Love’s Revolution

In the early days, revolution promised mankind a permanent and interesting life in love with moral goodness. Revolution was the work inspired by love and compassion.  All classified aspects of the societal food chain were in a state of excitement led by the energy of delight in the poetic revolution of life.  Or as William James put it, human beings really lived when they lived at the top of their energies.  

My soul is fed by the energy of love, all souls are.  This is why we often feel so connected to those we hardly know.  It’s the energy of God’s delight, coursing through our veins. But what is there to be so sensible about love if, as I feel, I have waited thousands of years for God to send my soul fallen upon this earth?  Here I am supposed to capture a true and clear image worthy of love before I return, before my human life ended.  Being sensible with something as wild as love does absolutely nothing to mitigate the fear of “missing the boat.”  I believe anyone can see that.

Pure Love   

All of life has been spent in sin and virtue, in good and evil, in labor and struggle, in sickness and in health, in gifts, in sorrows, in achieving and regretting, in planning and hoping, and in love and fear.  

The light of love crashing upon the landscape of hatred.

Suppose a man were at once in his life to disappear into God for the space of a minute.  And suppose he had seen things, considered them, known them, made judgments about them and spoke of them, out of acting wise or not. Suppose he stumbled in and out of prayer, while seeing the smoke of doubt envelop his surroundings.  Yet he walked through clean to the upright side of obedience.  And in this obedience, he tasted the vague sweetness of God, where he found spiritual ease in prayer. 

In all these things, life is but a fabric sewn together with uncertainties.  But in the moment of a knick in time, the minute in which he felt deliverance to God, the fabric of life comes to be woven by the pure love of God. 

“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

Psalm 84:17

Strength In Numbers

It is in this ecstasy of pure love that we arrive at the true fulfillment of the first commandment, loving God with our whole heart and mind, and all of our strength.  Therefore pure love is something that all should aspire to please God, and we ought to desire to inspire all with unconditional love. Not just for a minute, nor half an hour, nor a week, but forever.  It is in these souls that conspire to love, that peace will be proven to be force in this world.

We are the strength of the world, because we have become the tabernacles of God.  We are the ones who keep the universe from being destroyed. We are the little ones, we do not always know ourselves, but the world depends on us.  And though no one seems to realize it, we are the ones for whom it was all created and we shall inherit the land.  

We are the ones who renounce the world and throw away the meager possessions.  We alone appreciate the world for what its nature has given us. We understand joy, and those who are hateful and angry—joy will destroy.  We are the clean of heart, we feel God in our hearts, and our freedom has no limits.  We wash the world with God’s light.

Follow the path and beauty will be in everything you see.

So come, let us go into that body of His light.  Let us live in the cleanliness of His song.  Let us shed the labels of the world like clothing and enter barren into His wisdom.  For this is the prayer answered when He hears the cry: “Thy will be done.” And this is all that one seeks, when he tries his damndest to do something for goodness’ sake.

In Closing  

One may never know why he held the great unknown so close to his chest.  He often grasped at its searing celestial pain under intense circumstance.  Sometimes he would even reach for it and pretend to fill it with emptiness.  Then came the day when he filled it with what he thought was emptiness and instead it was God who filled his heart with joy. And as he felt a sensation like no other shiver up his spine, he knew it was God telling him it was time. 

To be continued…

—BeLove

*Author’s Note-

This is merely an excerpt from the book, call it practice if you will.

    

The Positive Side Of Pain

This bandage is something we call love and as He wraps it around our heart comes a feeling of love, like none have ever felt.

It is quite the arduous task to persevere with the constancy of a positive mindset as pain lurks in the shadows of eternity.  There are countless external elements that fuel the eternal engine of thought with damaging matter.  For the longest time I thought negative circumstance was just assumed to be a revolving door in this life and that all negative reaction but mere instinct of the mind.  But now it seems that all suffering is good for at the end of a rainy day is to be drenched in its own doubt.  I never believed that positive thought—even in the excruciations of pain—was something one could consider permanent.

Let me be the first to admit that I was wrong.  My frame of mind has recently undergone this sort of revival.  It was when I gave Him complete clearance to conduct this train I call life in whatever direction He has planned, was when the light of positivity began to shine wherever I looked.  It was in this glimmer of shimmering humility, after a winter’s rain, when shone the sun within and as the clouded past is now behind me.  The sunshine on my soul speaks with this clarity unlike anything I’ve ever felt and the words fell as follows.

Create The Day

“A jagged shadow of mountains sifts through the western sky spreading shades of day-glow orange, mixed in with the night and it’s lacking light. They do collide well enough to satisfy the backdrop of infinity.  A river with its gilded slivers runs reflecting with amethyst hints as it breaks away from below my feet, branching off towards the darkened trusses of a burnt out bridge.”

Support Your Local Sunset.

A sensation washes over me from the gut of my soul.  I am not in the depths of prayer.  There is just something about this moment He either wants me to learn from or remember. Neither of these thoughts of mine are guaranteed to be true, but it was then that I didn’t feel any pain, but relief in the belief that the beauty waiting down His path will be unlike anything I’ve ever imagined.

Keep your face to the sun and you will never see shadows.

-Hellen Keller

Something happens to a person when the imagination gets lost in a sunset.  As one gazes with depth at the grandiosity of night and day colliding, the eye of the soul starts to open.  The humbling beauty of God somehow manages to paint us with shades of humility as we come to understand how insignificant we really are.  We begin to see the world in a new light, everything takes its proper shape, and even pain begins to find its comfort zone.

On Humility

In order to contemplate the wide horizon of life, we must climb out of our self-centered ways and rise to a safer height of hope.   One begins to understand, that the center of being isn’t within us, but it is in God, this is when everything starts to fall into the right place away from the endless ditches of pain. 

Humility in its metaphysical meaning is the heroic conquest of selfhood and an ascent to the heights of spiritual soundness.  Humility means to escape from one’s superficial self-image and from the asphyxiating atmosphere of one’s own limited self into the pure air of cosmic life.  Far from being opposed to freedom, humility is an expression of freedom.  Nothing or anyone in this world can force humility upon us—we can only arrive at it ourselves, through pain and suffering, and God.

Wounded Heart

The heart, sick with wounded love and left defenseless, bleeds from the countless arrows that pierce at it throughout life’s longevity.  Only spiritual humility does well to defend us against the agonizing pain of the heart’s growth.  Once pain truly humbles one, genuine growth begins and the heart begins to heal. Humility has always been aimed away from self-love and it is the arrow that impales the wound of pride, and from that pierced arrow blooms a softer kind of holistic healing with God applying the bandage.  This bandage is something we call love and as He wraps it around our heart comes a feeling of love, like none have ever felt.

The Light Within

It’s a feeling of love, and not in the sense of self-love but this kind of love for everything, every outcome, and every circumstance that didn’t go your way.  You must let it all go and leave it to Him sitting above the top of these stars to conspire over.  It is then, that the positive side of pain is first recognized as freedom.  It is unopposed freedom, freedom from inner conflict, freedom from an enslaved mind, but most of all its freedom from all of our pain and suffering. It is the radiant freedom of His unconditional love.

Spiritual Soundness

Love is a force, a radiation of beneficent, soul-giving energy, like the love most of us have for our children.  It is the victory over all the false passions of love that provide the soul with the purest of power.  It is through Christ that this power calls to us.  The whole of moral goodness consists in acquiring this spiritual power through pain and prayer while conquering the darkness of natural life. 

Christ endeavors us to overcome the external world and not submit to its ways.  Humility is not a submission to it; on the contrary, it is a refusal to submit, and a movement along the edge of great resistance.  And yet the empowering love of Christ and spiritual morality is exceptionally simple.  Simplicity, indeed, is the humbled secret to living a life full of love, for complexity means division and weakness.  To live a simple life, where love cascades from the sky like snowflakes fallen from heaven is easy and can be accomplished.  You just have to accept the pain for the growth that it is, and be ever ready to shine for the happiness that waits with a brand new day. Now let us pray.  

Weekly Prayer

Dear God—

I understand that most of my life, at most times I move to fast for my own good—I have often felt like Asahel in the Book of Samuel.  I often go running these days, to clear my head, and there have been days that I just wanted to run away from it all, from writing, from responsibility, from the truth of who I was meant to be, or even the truth of who I am.   In the end, I have been running from the pain, and even in the pain felt in my legs, the goodness, I can feel it growing deep within me. I do, I believe in the light of You shining within me, and it is Your show now, I give You complete reign.  I am more or less the protagonist and the antagonist all rolled into the main character who writes his story while searching for his grail. 

The Takeout

Pain grows in the absence of joy, and joy cannot be grown without pain.  It is imperative to let pain grow with God, until it is time for the wound to bloom.  And this alone, is the positive side of pain.  This darkness, this coming to Jesus moment, this is faith, and from this faith sprouts joy.  And as the sun creeps back around, the path shines clear.       

Amen

BeLove


Soul Wax

So let us head His way
towards a brand new day.
It is there
He will seal our stamps
beneath Heaven’s oiled lamp.

The soul like a wax
waiting for its seal
only to be softened 
on the path to God’s will

A soul itself
has no identity
til it finds some warmth 
deep in His destiny.

This wax it will melt
as it reaches His hand
and so it will be
whatever He sees
as the truth of our identity
shall forever set us free.

For all souls will fall soft
as they turn to His light
cradled with a faith

which howls with the coming night.

But if a soul so lost
lives in the dark 
with no intent 
of seeking His spark
the spark it will cease
while the soul dries hard
and crumble it shall
to an arid ash 
fallen through the crease of hell

Therefore it is wise
to stand beside
His blazing fire
held by a hand and His will 
as our only desire. 

It is then

when we sit soft
a place He will prepare 
one of which 
we have never been scared.

Stay warm and oh so whole
for on the day of death—so cold
Christ will come
to carry us through 
one last breath 
on our way Home.

So let us head His way 
towards a brand new day. 
It is there
He will seal our stamps
beneath Heaven’s oiled lamp.

And please say your peace
as you leave your feet.
It’s nothing but your soul’s
divine identity 
pure bliss will forever keep.

BeLove © 2019

Rhythm Of Prayer

The rhythmic effect of prayer will streamline its way into everyday when done consistent.

When I picked up this pen again to entertain this hobby of mine, little did I know how much work God wants to do with our souls.  This is even truer when I started to allow Him into my creative room with the potency of prayer.  I began to realize this as my desire for certain things slowly began to vanish the more I prayed. There has been a few days in between that I sought pleasure and profit, as it is instinct.  It is easy to become intoxicated with the sweetness of the taste for things we write upon here and there.  Yet now, with each passing day something I felt attached to, or desired in some way, slowly makes its exit from the daily agenda of my refreshed mentality.  And I have been able to “let it all go” through prayer.

Prayer is a stained glass in which the light has been refracted through the color of God.

Prayer is the union of our mind and our will with God in an act of pure love bringing us into obscure contact with Him as He really is.  The reason I like to pray is to renew and redevelop my mind from all of the trivial things that wrap around it. All the while letting go of my will.  Prayer then infuses with the soul and then comes the direct intervention with God.  I am beginning to think that the tremors that move through us as we pray is the soul communicating with God.  The soul raises the whole process of the prayer’s progress above the level of our perceived landscape and it is possible that our spirit carries it to Him.  It is then that my capacity for suffering seems to drain from my clogged mind, only to be filled with His infused light and love.  

Potency Of Prayer

Before any of this begins, it is ordinary to labor with the proper preparation of prayer in our own way and with the help of His grace.  It is by adding depth to our knowledge and love of God in all forms of prayer, that our will starts to set itself free from the attachment of our own created circumstance.  

I have found that the best thing a beginner can do at the first inkling of spiritual osmosis is to develop discipline of the mind.  This enables us to concentrate on a spiritual matter and get below the surface of its meaning and incorporate it into our own lives.  By doing this we acquire the agility and freedom of mind, which helps us to find the light and warmth in the love of God.  

People who pretend to think about God only during those fixed periods after their own cruel agenda has left them weak and stranded will never amount to anything in the spiritual life. In fact they will not even think of Him in the moment of prayer.  They instead focus on themselves, which will not get them very far on the path to His Promised Land. 

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James 4:3

 Get Creative

A few months ago I started to post in the sense of prayer.  This I thought at first was to go against the grain of God.  I must confess though, it has helped me when adjusting myself for extended moments of prayer.  I recommend that all try it.  You don’t need to post it for the world to see, but it helps if you spell out the direction you would like to go, then it can only be used as an instrument of His will. I now believe one hundred percent that writing is a form of prayer.  The rhythmic effect of prayer will streamline its way into everyday when done consistent. It will trickle through the mind, and eventually cascade through your heart and soul.   

Others may suppose that the function of prayer is to show us how to practice going about life with a virtuous understanding and to give us the courage and determination to do something in life.  This is just another fruit to be plucked from the soul of a prayer, but it is just another step along the path.  

The reason why prayer does not serve its true purpose in the lives of so many who try and practice it, is that they do not understand its true purpose.  Some people—and this unfortunate—only pray for their well being, to get what they feel they deserve.  Then there are those that believe by praying they will come to find out more about God.  It is an elementary truth that prayer strengthens our convictions and allows us a deeper foundation of faith and understanding, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.  It is but the threshold of prayer. 

Functionality Of Prayer

As we get closer to the truth we begin to see that prayer is meant to produce in us a greater love for God. Whether or not this concept is satisfactory to you depends entirely what you mean by loving God.  If we think prayer has proved its point when it made us say we love God or feel that we love God, we may still be wrong.  

There will always be a light if you believe.

Prayer is a dual discipline that has a dual function.  First it is supposed to allow us sufficient control over our mind and its memory. This is what enables us to recollect ourselves and withdraw from all exterior challenges—with their activities, thoughts, and concerns of temporal existence.  

Secondly, this is when prayer begins its ascent to Heaven above.  It is the end result of the prayer that we start to become aware of the presence of God, as that vibration radiates from within, the tingling of the spine, this is when you know He is moving through you. And He aims to bring us to a state of constant companionship and loving attention to Him, and our utmost dependence on Him.  

“Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not into your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight.

Proverbs 3:5

The Take Out

The sole purpose of a prayer is this—to teach us how to work ourselves free from created things our minds have built up and our temporal concerns. Those in which we only find confusion and sorrow. Once we work to free ourselves from these. We will then enter into a conscious and loving contact with God in which we dispose ourselves from our wants and focus on our need for Him. This is done by praising Him every step of the way with the honor and love which He has now given to us through joy. Prayer is a dark path, in which nothing but faith can be heard in the silent, joyful light of God’s will.

The success of prayer will not be measured by the great resolutions we make, or the emotions felt in the exterior senses.  We have only prayed well, when we have come, to some extent, to realize God.  Yet even that is not quite the thing either.  

After all, anyone who has tried it is aware that the closer you get to God, the less question there can be of His will. The less there can be of realizing Him or anything about Him, the more we realize the path we are to walk is the one that infuses us with His light and His love.

-BeLove

Temporary Shutdown

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”

2 Corinthians 4:17

In more ways than one I am just kidding. But it is a sad truth that my laptop may have taken its final rest. I had today’s post all neat and tidied up and then the frustration set in. And I have to admit that I was furious, angry, and a little distraught.

So I took a light jog through the neighborhood and when I got back home I calmed myself through prayer. I then proceeded to open my daily praise book and the words it spoke for January 18th are as follows.

I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow covered peaks glistening in the brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me.

Learn to trust Me when things go “wrong.” Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand in hand with me through this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly my hand. Together we can do it.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”

2 Corinthians 4:17

It is true when they say He moves in mysterious ways. On the bright side of things, I just learned how to post through the application on my phone. It’s the little things, is it not? Hopefully I will see you all tomorrow.

—BeLove


The Energy Of Delight

Delighting in God’s work leads us to delight in God, and delight in God drives away fear.

Dear God—

It’s been awhile since we’ve spoke beneath Your stars.  I vaguely remember a few inebriated instances of pleas for forgiveness, but those moments aren’t much worth reminiscing over if I can’t very well remember them.  I must confess the past month has been but a blistered blur on this path to freedom.  One must plead forgiveness for his improper actions, but I think we are both working to clear that up on our respective ends.  Well You and Your infinite nature probably don’t pay much worry to the same trivial ends as I, but either way I must thank you for seeing me through it all.

And even though I have been so very lost, the cycle of redemption shall soon come to bloom with the Spring of You.  So allow me to be redeemed beneath Your infinite nature that sparkles above me as I speak with humility at Your mercy. 

Banks Of The Deep End

I often feel as though I’ve reached that age at which I can sense the impulse of folly as it advances towards my thoughts.  And instead of speaking with You when the direst of desire for some sort of external help reaches its boiling point within me, I, instead turned my drowning attention towards the depths of whatever bottle was around.  And I now see that the gauze of booze does not help to heal the wounds of whatever it is one is suffering through, one would be none the wiser to go ahead and choose to hit the snooze on his wildest dreams.

And I feel as though these thoughts of mine that project sleepless patterns upon my night—the only thing I can do with them is stand on the edge of some eternal lake of fire within my mind and throw crumbs upon its surface and watch as the ideas come to feed like frenzied fish.  But again I have come to find that by speaking with You before bed instead of my own madness, these waters upon my fiery lake settle smooth.  So let us speak with the positive energy of Your delight for the remainder of this post.

You are the essence of the energy of my delight.  Even through the darkest nights, when I would look for Your light, and I couldn’t find it, little did I know that I was the light.  Maybe it was the darkness that couldn’t handle me. The external energy that I sought was not anywhere to be found except within me. This I now know.  

Your Will has revealed every movement of my life, and I can either obey You or I can resist You, but I cannot know with clarity what I am doing without much grace. Therefore I pray to You, God, with every breath I take give me the grace to never refuse anything you ask, but to remain utterly lost in Your Will’s immense obscurity, doing not what my will wants for my own good, but giving myself to You which is really the only possible good, for myself and for all of humanity.

His Infinite Love

Nor do I want to demand that what I do should immediately show some sort of result that I can appreciate. Neither do I want to esteem anything that I do, or do anything because I think it will make something of me in this world—but to only do things for love and love alone.  This is wherein the real obscurity hides, because the values loved by Your infinite love (the love so perfect that it is its own object) is absolutely incomprehensible to me.  Therefore to live for love is to live in the delight of Your infinite energy.  

I do not even need to know precisely what I am doing, except that I am glorifying the love of You.  To act out of obedience to the rules within the community of cosmic love, which was built by Your grace in order to love You, is obviously why I must act for love and love alone.  It is by following this rule that the world is saved.

It’s True I Tell You.

And since I live for love, I will ask for no reward, only more love.  Your love is infinite, as it scatters through the night sky above me and I reminisce upon a verse from Your Book. 

“Seek Him who made the seven stars and Orion, who turns midnight into dawn and darkens day into night, who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out over the face of the land—the light of the world is His name.”

Amos 5:8

It is true that when we seek You, we seek the Creator of all things. You are all powerful, controlling both day and night.  And when within me, I was swimming in a sea of doubt; you tipped me over and from me that doubt spilled away.

So I thank you for drowning my doubt in the positive force of all that You delight. I believe that this may have been Your plan all along to see the truth of where I truly stand, but then again, I cannot try and fathom Your masterplan without letting my expectation get in the way so let us just attack today with Your energy at my side.

The Takeout

In closing, there is no delightful energy when conflict and argument arise within your own mind. All this inner-divergence amounts to is more resistance and turmoil in both the inlying and outlying environments of your very own life.  

It is instead that we should practice prayer purposefully and in the silence of prayer one will find peace by listening to the silence of your mind.  But some choose instead to argue with the madness that will often leave one bellied up with a bottle, only to ask the devil to soon step outside and handle this deviance like cursed men.  And even if one wins the argument with his very own devil, there is still no peace, for arguments are never won—they are perpetual.

When all you want is peace and love, one must have faith in the obscure realm of God’s Will, this is where the energy from within glows with delight and its positive nature realigns the heart with the head and God’s love will fill up and pour from the depths of your soul. Delighting in God’s work leads us to delight in God, and delight in God drives away fear.

Amen.

-BeLove