Plain As Hell

One little spark can set a whole wilderness on fire. Just a spark.

Let the wolf delight, to howl and to bite. For God has made him so.

—BeLove

If energy is delight and enthusiasm is beauty, the wild depressive knows more about delight and beauty than anyone else.  Who else has so much energy and exuberance?  I believe the psyche fleeces a certain strategy to increase depression. Isn’t it Freud who said, that happiness is nothing but the remission of pain? The more pain—the more intense the happiness that follows.  But there is a prior origin to this, and the psyche—it does create hell on purpose.

On Purpose

All life is, is pondering between then and now, between birth and death, seeking answers to the most influential questions.  Such brooding doesn’t always make us any saner, and some may sink into drink, when the answers they seek drive them a little too wild.  It has always been me versus madness in my life, and madness has proven much stronger over salvation.  But not this time around and I will tell you why.

All this thinking, writing, with it’s feeling sometimes seems to count for nothing. It’s naught but an attack behind the allied lines of my mind—seeking the beauty of my thoughts—and as of late the only effect is except it has worn me out.   The noble idea of being a poet or a writer has made me feel at times like a clown or a fool. Maybe humanity no longer needs art and inner miracles.  It already has so many outer ones.  

So before I can carry on with the green and lovely shades of this wilderness within, I must venture into the darkest and most arid corner of my mind.  This is the only way that I feel like I am being genuine with you all. It is true that the only way out is through.  

Sure I could fake it and pretend that all I saw was graced with gloriousness, but over the past week it hasn’t been that way for me.  I hold close with confidence that by getting this off my chest, the path will clear itself of my well-worn mind’s debris.  It is time we talk about hell.  

Horrors Of Hell

Hell is the state of the soul powerless to come out of it’s prideful self; it is absolute self-centeredness, dark and evil isolation, and the final incapacity to love.  It means to be engulfed in an agonizing moment, which yawns with the abyss of infinity, so that the pain plays repetitively in the mind, while stabbing sharp through the heart.  Hell creates and organizes the separation of the soul from God. 

Hell is not God’s action upon the soul, retributive and punitive as that action may be—it is the absence of any action of God upon the soul, the soul’s incapacity to open itself up to God’s influence and its complete severance from God.  

God’s Mercy

The horror of hell is not something inspired by thoughts that God’s judgment will be severe and merciless.  God is love and mercy, and to give one’s fate to Him means to overcome this horror. In reality the horror is to have our own fates left in our own hands.  It is not what God will do to us, but what we will do to ourselves.  Hell means that we don’t fall into the Hand of God but instead we abandon ourselves to our own devices.

Every soul is sinful and subject to darkness and cannot by its own power come into the light.   The soul will feel inclined to pass into the twilight of dreams written upon semi-existence.  Its own free efforts cannot bring it to true and being.  It is in the essence of Christianity that we see this designed by these two scriptures.

“The Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”

Luke 9:56

“I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.”

John 3:17

The coming of Christ should be seen as not an outward threat of judgment, but an inward recognition that salvation rests within—salvation from the hell that we have so maliciously spent our entire lives preparing for ourselves.   The coming of Christ is the turning point for the soul of man, which builds up the Kingdom of God instead of digging for the depths of hell. 

 Salvation Within

Without Christ, our Savior, the Kingdom of God is unattainable for man.  Man’s moral efforts alone do not bring him to it.  If there is no Christ and no change of heart connected with Christ, hell in some shape or form is inevitable, for man cannot help but create it.  The essence of salvation is liberation from our own hell, to which all creatures naturally gravitate.  

Hell will not come into eternity, it will remain in time, and hence it cannot be eternal.  One of the voices that howls through my soul tells me that all are doomed to hell, because all more or less doom themselves to it. But this to the fullest extent is reckoning without Christ.  The other voice that speaks from the goodness of my heart, says that all must be saved, that man’s true freedom must be enlightened from within, without any violence being done to it—and that comes through Christ and is salvation.

In the midst of this spiritual awakening, I no longer think of the devil as outside the human soul, he is engrained in it and means that it is abandoned in itself.  Christ frees the soul from the devil.  Hell, without question exists, yet it is revealed to us in experience, and it may be our own lot. Hell belongs to time and is temporal. Everything that is in time is temporal. The victory of eternity over time leaves hell and its so called powers behind.

Hell’s Intimidation

The idea of hell has been turned into an instrument of intimidation, of religious and moral terrorism. Our real horror is not in the threats of a transcendental Divine judgment, but in the immanent working out of human destiny from which all Divine action has been excluded.  The most merciless committee is that of one’s own conscious; it brings with it torments of hell, division, loss of wholeness, a fragmentary existence.  The only judgment God shall enforce upon us is a downpour of grace upon the creature. His judgment establishes true realities and makes them all secondary to the heights of Heaven, not in a permissible but a metaphysical sense.  

I now see something hideous and morally revolting in the idea of eternal torments as retribution for the sins of a short moment of life.  Eternal damnation as a result of things done in such a short period of time, known as life, is one of the most disgusting manmade nightmares.  But one thing is unquestionably true:  after death the soul rich in Christ goes on to Heaven, the soul that never believed in God’s Power goes on to some other plane of being, as it lived before birth.

The Answer Is Christ

The life in our world between birth and death is merely a crumb compared to our destiny, incomprehensible when regarded by itself, apart from the eternal purpose of a man. It is Christ alone that can conquer the horror of hell as a manifestation of the creature’s freedom. This is the last and final demand that dictates the conscious—to have the conscious and the courage to direct all the power of your creative spirit through Christ to free everyone from their own hell. And the rise of hope in this belief is the only way through this wilderness within.

Author’s Note

It has been a rough couple of weeks. My depressed mind has been taken over by the grind and has been working overtime with work and all else in between. But 2019 is going to be here in the blink of an eye and I will be spending a few days in one of my favorite places in the world, Alabama Hills, just outside of Lone Pine, California.  I have to leave town with just my camera, my tent, my bible, God, and me.  Once again, I have to find myself.  I must take this beast within and seek some holy waters for the sake of baptismal purposes.

As Christ said, the seed in the ground must die.  To be a seed in the ground of one’s very life is to dissolve into that ground in order to become fruitful.  One disappears into love, in order to “be Love”

I am finally getting somewhere with the book, so with that being said, this blog will only be posting once a week on Friday’s, starting this Friday.  Hope you all had a merry everything and have a happy always. Thanks for stopping by. Til the next time.

-BeLove

Enlightened Prayer

So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root. 

This morning I woke up and finally understood what I thought was arduous to understand. Progress.  It is the most industrious word in the English language. There is nothing that can undermine the very definition of the word progress.  The moment one decides to take a seat and deny progress the chance at defining itself, one should just go ahead and accept expiration’s invitation, so to shorten the pursuit of Paradise.  So without further adieu.

For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 10 : 10

Dear God—

It is in the purpose of this prayer that I look to find an expansion in my personal realization of Your love, and in the awareness of You that in light of my negativity that I find the positive side of myself.  It is as well in Your purpose that through this prayer I hope will lead to a further exploration and the discovery of a new dimension in freedom, illumination, and most of all love.  So please allow me to deepen the awareness of my life through You.

Through the experience of struggle I must now empty myself—I must let go of everything that makes up the old me and hope for full recovery in the grace of You.  Your grace it brings inner peace to us all.  It is through the resurrection of Your Son within me, that I hope to practice a newfangled method of mending my mentality—it is my hope that these methods shall take hold and transform this little life of mine.

It is in the personal awareness of You that the “mystical” experience of Your wisdom gives way to a self-renunciation of sorts, in which I see the silhouette of commitment walking closely by.  This commitment I now understand should be demonstrated at the highest level—way beyond the vagueness of intellectual assent and external obedience.

It is true that he, who looks to act and do “good works” for others of this world, must deepen his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and his own capacity to love, before he will truly be able to offer anyone anything.

He must come to grips with the deeper understanding of who he really is, and while I feel I am really close, it is possible that I may never know who I truly am. But with You at my side and in the depths of this prayer I feel something click within more than ever.

And while I feel that I have dissolved the boundaries of what rests within me to become more whole in the Presence of You.  We both know that more demons, are lining up, waiting there turn at trying to penetrate my soul, and bringing with them pain and suffering.

But with You in my heart, I have all the confidence in the world that the strength You give to me is all that I shall need to nurture these seeds You have planted within and all around me.  So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root.

Much Love-

BeLove


A Spirit Moves

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19 : 11

When social disorder and military dependency occupy the world surrounding man, certain men will turn their attention towards the mystics of all that is spiritual.  Spirit alone implies personal freedom.  And those who walk the wilderness alone will come to find a spiritual freedom they never thought possible.

These words today—all they amount to is a sort of scaffolding—setting the frame for the spiritual house of me, being built by Him above.   And as the hammer hits the nail, this is what I heard.

“Therefore whatever you see your soul desire according to God, do that thing, and you shall keep your heart safe.”

Is it so obvious that a path of solitude can only be traveled by a man whom is very aware and sensitive to the landmarks of hidden meaning in a world so dark?  The hidden Will of You, it is different within the perception of every soul, though You do not move through difference, You move through us indifferent and collectively.  It is fear that separates the duality in us all with its disparateness.

When walking alone I came to find maturity in Your faith, and humbled as well.  I learned to detach from myself, to a certain degree that some perceive as poor and borderline detrimental to my sanity.

But it is true, that at my most disruptive point in this life, I’ve found this peace and it flows through You, and my mind has never thought so true.  As we’ve said, all one needs to do is seek You.

And is it true, those of us who fall the hardest hold a special place within You?

It is to the edge I walked looking for You and on my way back I found You.  So what now are we to do?  You are a mystery I have learned to love and pursue.  I feel You begin to take shape in my soul—and as a creative being—it is my goal to capture and express You as You move through me.

And perhaps I should feel guilt—that by doing this—some day I will be able to fully grasp these mysteries that flicker in the darkness above.  But should I feel guilt when creating my dreams?  Is that not why you gave them to me, to create them?

If there is one thing that dreams, purpose, and You have in common, it is in fact mystery.

And maybe the only way for a man to solve these mysteries was for him to lose himself to the wolf.  The hidden half of his duality that was transcendent, mysterious and little known—yet little did he know had long been lost in Christ.

Maybe the other half had to die for the ideals of transient existence, the same as Christ died for us on the Cross.  Just to rise from the dead, whole with Christ at his side, walking with the light of an entirely new wisdom written with purpose.  And is it true, is each mind a tomb?

And maybe the ends to these means of striving are nothing but the hope for the purity of my heart. A clear and unhindered view of my dreams coalesced with a vision that sees the true state of things—that which all others must have a grasp, that there own inner being is anchored, rather lost, in God through Christ.

Is that the secret when finding You? Is it to see You in everything we do, even in the music we listen to?  It is no matter what path—there is no mind, no matter, just a path to You that weaves free with pattern through a wilderness some call wild…but I call home.

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like a garden; It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing.

Isaiah 35 : 1-2

For those that have stuck with me, those who haven’t, and those just passing through, I thank you.

May God bless you all with bliss.

-BeLove


Contemplating Freedom

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do so.

Ephesians 2 : 10

I awaken with the most pristine moment of the day.  Dawn is just around the corner and I hear the innocence of creation ask with consent to just be blessed again, as it is was on the first morning that ever was.

It is wisdom that seeks to assemble and manifest itself at that blind, sweet spot of creation.  Wisdom does not seek to succeed as it falls into contemplation, for we must not ask permission of anyone except God to find what it is we seek.  As I turn to face this morning as a man with an impervious purpose, I look to the shadow of me and let God take the reigns within.  And to the shadow I speak in silence.

Perhaps I am stronger than I think.  Maybe I am even scared of my strength, and turn it against myself, making me weak.  Maybe I think this will make me secure, yet I feel guilty.  Perhaps I am most afraid of the strength, which you God, have placed in me. Perhaps a part of me would rather be ridden with weakened guilt in myself, than be strong with You, whom I don’t yet fully understand.  Or perhaps, I am just thinking too much and I should just allow the silence of You to wash over me, while finding the courage and faith to know that You will lead me down today’s path.

And from the depths of contemplation, the darkness begins to fade behind creation’s first light.

Contemplation suggests lingering pleasure, timelessness, and a sort of suave passivity.  But this isn’t the light of contemplation.  Contemplation is not about enjoyment, not happiness, or even peace for that matter.  Contemplation is about creating a transcendent experience of reality and truth in the act of a supreme and spiritual love. The important thing in a contemplative state is not about gratification, but it is about awareness, life, creativity and finding your own freedom.

It is a fact that contemplation is our most essential spiritual activity.  It is our most divine act of creativity.  It is dynamic affirmation of the divinity within us.  Contemplation is not the suave and slothful of “being” in a darkened complacency.  It is a flash of divine light piercing through the darkness of pain and suffering.

Contemplation is not tied to the process of abstract thought, but on the contrary it is concrete and as existential as thought can be.  Contemplation is the celestial confrontation of man with God, of the Son with his Father.  It is when Christ truly awakens within us, that the manifestation of the Kingdom of God in our own souls begins.  It is the triumph of truth and of divine freedom, in our innermost “being”, in which the Father becomes one with the Son in the Spirit, which is then given to the believer.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139 : 13-14

Again I speak silent to my shadow.

Perhaps, You do move through me in mysterious ways, and perhaps I should apologize for doubting your means to my ends, God.  And for that, I am sorry.  But let it be known, that I thank you for the grace you have allowed me to understand, and the elegance of your Love that will always fill my spirit, and that everyday I am more hopeful for the path that you have laid ahead for me.

-BeLove