Could there be a greater miracle than for all of us to look through with consistency, the eyes of all others?
Life resides in learning to live on one’s own, spontaneous and footloose. To do this one must recognize what is one’s own—to be familiar and at home with oneself. This means basically learning who one is, and learning what one has to contribute to the growth of this fashionable world, and then learning how to make that contribution valid.
The purpose of creating is to show us how to define ourselves with authentic spontaneity in relation to the world around us. Though it is no longer authentic if one tries to impose a prefabricated definition of the world, as anything less than the capricious definition of the individual themselves.
The world is filled up with folks who are fully alive in it: that is, of the people who can be fully themselves in it and can enter into a living and cultivating relationship with each other in it.
The world is, therefore, more genuine in proportion as the people in it are able to be more humane and alive; that is to say, better able to make a lucid and conscious decision of what freedom truly is. This freedom must first of all coexist with the capacity to choose our own lives, by finding ourselves on the deepest possible level.
It is a superficial freedom to wander aimlessly here or there, to get a taste of this or that, to make the choice of certain distractions. This two-dimensional freedom is simply a sham.
It all claims to be a freedom of “choice” when in fact it evades the basic task of discovering who it is that chooses. It is not freedom because it is unwilling to run the risk of facing self-discovery.
The function of creating is, then, first of all to help the individual to educate and discover themselves: to recognize themselves, and to identify with whom it is that they choose.
This descriptive aspect of creativity will at once be seen as unconventional and, in fact, simple to most of society. To go further past the terms of outrageous, the function of creating is to help one’s own, as well as, maybe help other men and women save their souls and, and in so doing, maybe save something of society from itself.
From what you may ask? From the hell of meaningless arguments, of obsession, of complex artifice, of systematic lying, of criminal evasions and neglects, of self-destructive futilities.
It is now my hope that it is evident, to you the reader, that from my context above, I mean the following:
That the business of “saving” one’s soul means more than saving that of an imaginary object; and entrusting it to some institutional bank for deposit until we recover it with interest in Heaven.
And that in speaking on the terms of a somewhat Christian existentialist, I mean by “soul” not as simply as the overthought Greek essential form but the mature personal identity, the creative fruit of an authentic, organic, and lucid discovery, the “self” that is found after other partial and exterior selves have finally been discarded as metaphoric masks.
This metaphor must not mislead: this inner identity is not “found” as an object, but is the very self that finds. It is lost when it forgets to find, when it does not know how to seek. Or when one seeks his soul as a material object. (Such a search via external avenues is futile and self-contradictory.)
Hence the paradox that we find when we stop seeking: and this is the point of creating. It is that when one learns to let his mind sit still and be what one has become, which is one that one does not know and never will he need to know.
This is when the miracle happens, when the paradox of life has reached maturity, we understand that to love is nothing more than a simple gesture of compassionate communication. Could there be a greater miracle than for all of us to look through with consistency, the eyes of all others?
It is when the imaginary “debts” are paid, one no longer seeks something else. One no longer looks to be told by another who one is. One no longer demands validation. One just does what they do and smiles at everything they love. After all, man is but a byproduct of everything he’s ever loved.
But there is the whole and infinite depth of what is remaining soon to be revealed. And it is not revealed to those who seek it from others. It is only revealed in the truth via self-discovery.
A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds love in what he does.
The warrior stands rebellious, graphite sword in hand, contemplating over a cosmic plain. Below him or her is a spinning sphere full of trials, tribulations, threatening adversaries, and tempting shortcuts. Across the plain rises a mountain called mentality, full of promise but harboring a myriad of challenges. On the other side of the mountain awaits something of which they are not exactly sure. Could it be valor, transcendence, illumination, possibly enlightenment? Or perhaps something more sinister hides behind the mountain in the shallow shadowed valleys below.
All he or she knows is that they must carve a chivalrous path through life’s uneven landscape and scale the mountain, leading the way for those who seek something better on the other side. They must guide with empathy and compassion through the shades of peril that lay ahead. They know that death is an option from which they cannot opt out of. They are very aware that survival could escape them, but they are prepared and are capable of leading those they love to safety regardless of their own well-being. But they are also confident and their spirits can barely contain themselves.
Follow Your Heart
The warrior wears their heart as a shield, protecting what they love from the evil that lurks in the dusk of fear. They defy the nightmares of deceit, false belief, and the judgments that create suffering and false happiness. It is a war that once was waged within their own hearts and minds. They stare fear in the eye with an awareness that the inner conflict of adversity has already taught them. They know that truth, divinity, and unconditional love are what lie ahead on the other side of fear. They know what is at stake and it is more important than anything else to them. It is Freedom. Or call it cerebral liberty if you will.
The warrior breathes benevolence for what they wish to protect,
in this case, the reverence of love, and freedom of the mind. Their tears are hidden behind their eyes, for
it is love, not hate, which motivates.
They acknowledge that bravery comes in the presence of fear and not in
its absence. Afraid or not, they keep emotional arousal at bay and instead use its
energy to finish the task at hand. They
are confident in their skills of struggle and that conceit is an exploitable
weakness. They feel everything that
everyone does, but answer otherwise.
Their commitment to peace and harmony is deeper than any river they have
ever crossed. It is what they live, love,
fight, die, and write for.
The warrior knows that in order to win the war against fear, they require awareness, valor, discipline, and promise in order to transform the emotional body of the whole. They know their inner strength is a weapon but how it is used depends on their hearts and minds, and of course their soul.
Awareness is the most vital tool of a warrior. We often think we are aware but to be purely
aware does not involve thinking whatsoever. Awareness is unpolluted because there is no
interpretation to the thinking process.
To be aware means that we perceive with clarity the truth of what is
happening in the present without opinion.
In a moment of pure awareness the dialogue in our mind stops. We see from a point of view separate from the
scrutiny of our mind. It is in the
awareness of an epiphany that balance finds its way beneath the warrior’s footing,
balance being extremely important, as we will discuss later on as we stumble
down this road.
Awareness is essential because it is a state of
consciousness that allows us to discern between the facts and the truth, and
between the story and the lies in our mind.
Our mind is filled with false perceptions and false beliefs. The mind is crafty, but it is also full of
assumptions and limited patterns of perception, it is easily fed with distraction.
Self-awareness is the clarity to know who and what you are, and not become so entangled in the image of yourself. Your self-image that is your utmost distraction will often misrepresent the sense of who you really are. False internal images can lead you to lower self-esteem and self-confidence, or they can lead to being self-centered.
Mind Your Head
If you have an idea of who you are, then contemplate that you are not that idea in your mind. You are the one creating and discerning it. When you become aware that the images of self that you hold in your mind are nothing but illusion, you recognize the essence of freeing yourself from self-importance.
The warrior has the courage to question his or her own
beliefs. By challenging our own beliefs,
we begin to recognize the lies that cause our own suffering. To challenge our own beliefs requires courage
because it is a means to the end of the illusion of safety. A warrior learns not to defend what we
believe, but to challenge those very beliefs ourselves. It is in this way that we are able to sort
the truth from illusion.
Discipline is of the utmost importance in the spirit of a warrior. Discipline is stringent upon staying the course when faced with the inward challenges of the mind. A warrior must have the discipline to continue to practice against his or her own mind, without any outside motivation. They must exercise their own free will at the command of their heart without outward representation. This often means going against the fearful opinions in our minds that allure us with patterned illusions of both punishment and reward. They must also carry close the discipline to follow their heart when tempted by judgment.
The warrior must commit to self-love. They can then extend that love amongst others, as well as humanity. Self-commitment is required because along the journey we are certain to fall many times. It is with strong commitment that the warrior gets back up again. It is common to fall upon the fleeting judgment of others. It is easy to love some people, particularly those who treat us with mutual respect. However, it requires an incredible commitment to love in the face of those who reject us. This commitment will challenge us. It will challenge our beliefs about our own judgments, while teaching us that pure compassion is the only defense required.
The warrior is committed to love beyond their own
self-serving interests and what it will bring them. This is how we become happy past our own
paradigm of longing. Over time, we
become committed to love for the sheer enjoyment of expressing love. This is what the spirit of a warrior lives
for, to love. They nourish themselves
with the love they express. A warrior
will always express their love, even when challenged.
The warrior always expects the best from themselves. They may not always overcome everything they
are faced with, but it is with certainty that they will give it their all to
rise above failure. They will make the
best of every situation and seek to unleash their greatest potential even if
they do have to dip into the madness of their own mind. They expect to set the example of what it
takes to lead and inspire others, no matter how close to the edge they take
themselves. Therefore, they must be
ready, willing, and able to carry the burden, even when lost in the arid desert
of their mind.
A warrior understands that they only have one life, so they treat it with reverence and fill it with those peculiar moments that make life worth living and with those they find meaningful. Sometimes a warrior must walk away from everything he was to find out where he truly belongs.
But what do I know? I am not necessarily a warrior, I am just some guy who likes to write, but I believe in something much more greater and graceful than the good we are promised. I have a vision and I believe in it with such passion, I will seek it out until the day I die. The funny thing is that it’s right here within me. It always has been, somewhere deep, and probably pretty damn dark. But it is true; there is a light of faith that will always shine through.
It is in these moments when I write that I find
meaning. The means of myself seem to
meet with pen and paper. For some odd
reason, I associate words with leaving a mark on the world. I’m not sure why. I do know it is borderline
brutal to be an open book in a world that barely reads anymore. But writing allows my soul to saunter with creative
experience and not wither away to the misuse of boredom’s mediocrity. I guess it allows my mind its daily serenity
and by treating every minute as a gift—with a gift—is a great way to align my life
the way that I see fit.
So, let us stop wasting these precious minutes, and start running towards those dreams. Starting with today, go get whatever it is you wish to deserve from this life. Or you could just continue to put it off until tomorrow, but eventually, you will have to either walk away from what it is the spiritual path demands or stare it down and give everything that you have got to get to the results that Heaven and the One Upstairs desire.
And for what it’s worth, the warrior knows that he doesn’t have a lot to offer, but what he truly believes in is worth something, as long as he can manage to stay out of his own damn way.
One little spark can set a whole wilderness on fire. Just a spark.
Let the wolf delight, to howl and to bite. For God has made him so.
If energy is delight and enthusiasm is beauty, the wild depressive knows more about delight and beauty than anyone else. Who else has so much energy and exuberance? I believe the psyche fleeces a certain strategy to increase depression. Isn’t it Freud who said, that happiness is nothing but the remission of pain? The more pain—the more intense the happiness that follows. But there is a prior origin to this, and the psyche—it does create hell on purpose.
All life is, is pondering between then and now, between birth and death, seeking answers to the most influential questions. Such brooding doesn’t always make us any saner, and some may sink into drink, when the answers they seek drive them a little too wild. It has always been me versus madness in my life, and madness has proven much stronger over salvation. But not this time around and I will tell you why.
All this thinking, writing, with it’s feeling sometimes seems to count for nothing. It’s naught but an attack behind the allied lines of my mind—seeking the beauty of my thoughts—and as of late the only effect is except it has worn me out. The noble idea of being a poet or a writer has made me feel at times like a clown or a fool. Maybe humanity no longer needs art and inner miracles. It already has so many outer ones.
So before I can carry on with the green and lovely shades of this wilderness within, I must venture into the darkest and most arid corner of my mind. This is the only way that I feel like I am being genuine with you all. It is true that the only way out is through.
Sure I could fake it and pretend that all I saw was graced with gloriousness, but over the past week it hasn’t been that way for me. I hold close with confidence that by getting this off my chest, the path will clear itself of my well-worn mind’s debris. It is time we talk about hell.
Horrors Of Hell
Hell is the state of the soul powerless to come out of it’s prideful self; it is absolute self-centeredness, dark and evil isolation, and the final incapacity to love. It means to be engulfed in an agonizing moment, which yawns with the abyss of infinity, so that the pain plays repetitively in the mind, while stabbing sharp through the heart. Hell creates and organizes the separation of the soul from God.
Hell is not God’s action upon the soul, retributive and punitive as that action may be—it is the absence of any action of God upon the soul, the soul’s incapacity to open itself up to God’s influence and its complete severance from God.
The horror of hell is not something inspired by thoughts that God’s judgment will be severe and merciless. God is love and mercy, and to give one’s fate to Him means to overcome this horror. In reality the horror is to have our own fates left in our own hands. It is not what God will do to us, but what we will do to ourselves. Hell means that we don’t fall into the Hand of God but instead we abandon ourselves to our own devices.
Every soul is sinful and subject to darkness and cannot by its own power come into the light. The soul will feel inclined to pass into the twilight of dreams written upon semi-existence. Its own free efforts cannot bring it to true and being. It is in the essence of Christianity that we see this designed by these two scriptures.
“The Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”
“I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.”
The coming of Christ should be seen as not an outward threat of judgment, but an inward recognition that salvation rests within—salvation from the hell that we have so maliciously spent our entire lives preparing for ourselves. The coming of Christ is the turning point for the soul of man, which builds up the Kingdom of God instead of digging for the depths of hell.
Without Christ, our Savior, the Kingdom of God is unattainable for man. Man’s moral efforts alone do not bring him to it. If there is no Christ and no change of heart connected with Christ, hell in some shape or form is inevitable, for man cannot help but create it. The essence of salvation is liberation from our own hell, to which all creatures naturally gravitate.
Hell will not come into eternity, it will remain in time, and hence it cannot be eternal. One of the voices that howls through my soul tells me that all are doomed to hell, because all more or less doom themselves to it. But this to the fullest extent is reckoning without Christ. The other voice that speaks from the goodness of my heart, says that all must be saved, that man’s true freedom must be enlightened from within, without any violence being done to it—and that comes through Christ and is salvation.
In the midst of this spiritual awakening, I no longer think of the devil as outside the human soul, he is engrained in it and means that it is abandoned in itself. Christ frees the soul from the devil. Hell, without question exists, yet it is revealed to us in experience, and it may be our own lot. Hell belongs to time and is temporal. Everything that is in time is temporal. The victory of eternity over time leaves hell and its so called powers behind.
The idea of hell has been turned into an instrument of intimidation, of religious and moral terrorism. Our real horror is not in the threats of a transcendental Divine judgment, but in the immanent working out of human destiny from which all Divine action has been excluded. The most merciless committee is that of one’s own conscious; it brings with it torments of hell, division, loss of wholeness, a fragmentary existence. The only judgment God shall enforce upon us is a downpour of grace upon the creature. His judgment establishes true realities and makes them all secondary to the heights of Heaven, not in a permissible but a metaphysical sense.
I now see something hideous and morally revolting in the idea of eternal torments as retribution for the sins of a short moment of life. Eternal damnation as a result of things done in such a short period of time, known as life, is one of the most disgusting manmade nightmares. But one thing is unquestionably true: after death the soul rich in Christ goes on to Heaven, the soul that never believed in God’s Power goes on to some other plane of being, as it lived before birth.
The Answer Is Christ
The life in our world between birth and death is merely a crumb compared to our destiny, incomprehensible when regarded by itself, apart from the eternal purpose of a man. It is Christ alone that can conquer the horror of hell as a manifestation of the creature’s freedom. This is the last and final demand that dictates the conscious—to have the conscious and the courage to direct all the power of your creative spirit through Christ to free everyone from their own hell. And the rise of hope in this belief is the only way through this wilderness within.
It has been a rough couple of weeks. My depressed mind has been taken over by the grind and has been working overtime with work and all else in between. But 2019 is going to be here in the blink of an eye and I will be spending a few days in one of my favorite places in the world, Alabama Hills, just outside of Lone Pine, California. I have to leave town with just my camera, my tent, my bible, God, and me. Once again, I have to find myself. I must take this beast within and seek some holy waters for the sake of baptismal purposes.
As Christ said, the seed in the ground must die. To be a seed in the ground of one’s very life is to dissolve into that ground in order to become fruitful. One disappears into love, in order to “be Love”
I am finally getting somewhere with the book, so with that being said, this blog will only be posting once a week on Friday’s, starting this Friday. Hope you all had a merry everything and have a happy always. Thanks for stopping by. Til the next time.