The Positive Side Of Pain

This bandage is something we call love and as He wraps it around our heart comes a feeling of love, like none have ever felt.

It is quite the arduous task to persevere with the constancy of a positive mindset as pain lurks in the shadows of eternity.  There are countless external elements that fuel the eternal engine of thought with damaging matter.  For the longest time I thought negative circumstance was just assumed to be a revolving door in this life and that all negative reaction but mere instinct of the mind.  But now it seems that all suffering is good for at the end of a rainy day is to be drenched in its own doubt.  I never believed that positive thought—even in the excruciations of pain—was something one could consider permanent.

Let me be the first to admit that I was wrong.  My frame of mind has recently undergone this sort of revival.  It was when I gave Him complete clearance to conduct this train I call life in whatever direction He has planned, was when the light of positivity began to shine wherever I looked.  It was in this glimmer of shimmering humility, after a winter’s rain, when shone the sun within and as the clouded past is now behind me.  The sunshine on my soul speaks with this clarity unlike anything I’ve ever felt and the words fell as follows.

Create The Day

“A jagged shadow of mountains sifts through the western sky spreading shades of day-glow orange, mixed in with the night and it’s lacking light. They do collide well enough to satisfy the backdrop of infinity.  A river with its gilded slivers runs reflecting with amethyst hints as it breaks away from below my feet, branching off towards the darkened trusses of a burnt out bridge.”

Support Your Local Sunset.

A sensation washes over me from the gut of my soul.  I am not in the depths of prayer.  There is just something about this moment He either wants me to learn from or remember. Neither of these thoughts of mine are guaranteed to be true, but it was then that I didn’t feel any pain, but relief in the belief that the beauty waiting down His path will be unlike anything I’ve ever imagined.

Keep your face to the sun and you will never see shadows.

-Hellen Keller

Something happens to a person when the imagination gets lost in a sunset.  As one gazes with depth at the grandiosity of night and day colliding, the eye of the soul starts to open.  The humbling beauty of God somehow manages to paint us with shades of humility as we come to understand how insignificant we really are.  We begin to see the world in a new light, everything takes its proper shape, and even pain begins to find its comfort zone.

On Humility

In order to contemplate the wide horizon of life, we must climb out of our self-centered ways and rise to a safer height of hope.   One begins to understand, that the center of being isn’t within us, but it is in God, this is when everything starts to fall into the right place away from the endless ditches of pain. 

Humility in its metaphysical meaning is the heroic conquest of selfhood and an ascent to the heights of spiritual soundness.  Humility means to escape from one’s superficial self-image and from the asphyxiating atmosphere of one’s own limited self into the pure air of cosmic life.  Far from being opposed to freedom, humility is an expression of freedom.  Nothing or anyone in this world can force humility upon us—we can only arrive at it ourselves, through pain and suffering, and God.

Wounded Heart

The heart, sick with wounded love and left defenseless, bleeds from the countless arrows that pierce at it throughout life’s longevity.  Only spiritual humility does well to defend us against the agonizing pain of the heart’s growth.  Once pain truly humbles one, genuine growth begins and the heart begins to heal. Humility has always been aimed away from self-love and it is the arrow that impales the wound of pride, and from that pierced arrow blooms a softer kind of holistic healing with God applying the bandage.  This bandage is something we call love and as He wraps it around our heart comes a feeling of love, like none have ever felt.

The Light Within

It’s a feeling of love, and not in the sense of self-love but this kind of love for everything, every outcome, and every circumstance that didn’t go your way.  You must let it all go and leave it to Him sitting above the top of these stars to conspire over.  It is then, that the positive side of pain is first recognized as freedom.  It is unopposed freedom, freedom from inner conflict, freedom from an enslaved mind, but most of all its freedom from all of our pain and suffering. It is the radiant freedom of His unconditional love.

Spiritual Soundness

Love is a force, a radiation of beneficent, soul-giving energy, like the love most of us have for our children.  It is the victory over all the false passions of love that provide the soul with the purest of power.  It is through Christ that this power calls to us.  The whole of moral goodness consists in acquiring this spiritual power through pain and prayer while conquering the darkness of natural life. 

Christ endeavors us to overcome the external world and not submit to its ways.  Humility is not a submission to it; on the contrary, it is a refusal to submit, and a movement along the edge of great resistance.  And yet the empowering love of Christ and spiritual morality is exceptionally simple.  Simplicity, indeed, is the humbled secret to living a life full of love, for complexity means division and weakness.  To live a simple life, where love cascades from the sky like snowflakes fallen from heaven is easy and can be accomplished.  You just have to accept the pain for the growth that it is, and be ever ready to shine for the happiness that waits with a brand new day. Now let us pray.  

Weekly Prayer

Dear God—

I understand that most of my life, at most times I move to fast for my own good—I have often felt like Asahel in the Book of Samuel.  I often go running these days, to clear my head, and there have been days that I just wanted to run away from it all, from writing, from responsibility, from the truth of who I was meant to be, or even the truth of who I am.   In the end, I have been running from the pain, and even in the pain felt in my legs, the goodness, I can feel it growing deep within me. I do, I believe in the light of You shining within me, and it is Your show now, I give You complete reign.  I am more or less the protagonist and the antagonist all rolled into the main character who writes his story while searching for his grail. 

The Takeout

Pain grows in the absence of joy, and joy cannot be grown without pain.  It is imperative to let pain grow with God, until it is time for the wound to bloom.  And this alone, is the positive side of pain.  This darkness, this coming to Jesus moment, this is faith, and from this faith sprouts joy.  And as the sun creeps back around, the path shines clear.       

Amen

BeLove


Soul Wax

So let us head His way
towards a brand new day.
It is there
He will seal our stamps
beneath Heaven’s oiled lamp.

The soul like a wax
waiting for its seal
only to be softened 
on the path to God’s will

A soul itself
has no identity
til it finds some warmth 
deep in His destiny.

This wax it will melt
as it reaches His hand
and so it will be
whatever He sees
as the truth of our identity
shall forever set us free.

For all souls will fall soft
as they turn to His light
cradled with a faith

which howls with the coming night.

But if a soul so lost
lives in the dark 
with no intent 
of seeking His spark
the spark it will cease
while the soul dries hard
and crumble it shall
to an arid ash 
fallen through the crease of hell

Therefore it is wise
to stand beside
His blazing fire
held by a hand and His will 
as our only desire. 

It is then

when we sit soft
a place He will prepare 
one of which 
we have never been scared.

Stay warm and oh so whole
for on the day of death—so cold
Christ will come
to carry us through 
one last breath 
on our way Home.

So let us head His way 
towards a brand new day. 
It is there
He will seal our stamps
beneath Heaven’s oiled lamp.

And please say your peace
as you leave your feet.
It’s nothing but your soul’s
divine identity 
pure bliss will forever keep.

BeLove © 2019

Plain As Hell

One little spark can set a whole wilderness on fire. Just a spark.

Let the wolf delight, to howl and to bite. For God has made him so.

—BeLove

If energy is delight and enthusiasm is beauty, the wild depressive knows more about delight and beauty than anyone else.  Who else has so much energy and exuberance?  I believe the psyche fleeces a certain strategy to increase depression. Isn’t it Freud who said, that happiness is nothing but the remission of pain? The more pain—the more intense the happiness that follows.  But there is a prior origin to this, and the psyche—it does create hell on purpose.

On Purpose

All life is, is pondering between then and now, between birth and death, seeking answers to the most influential questions.  Such brooding doesn’t always make us any saner, and some may sink into drink, when the answers they seek drive them a little too wild.  It has always been me versus madness in my life, and madness has proven much stronger over salvation.  But not this time around and I will tell you why.

All this thinking, writing, with it’s feeling sometimes seems to count for nothing. It’s naught but an attack behind the allied lines of my mind—seeking the beauty of my thoughts—and as of late the only effect is except it has worn me out.   The noble idea of being a poet or a writer has made me feel at times like a clown or a fool. Maybe humanity no longer needs art and inner miracles.  It already has so many outer ones.  

So before I can carry on with the green and lovely shades of this wilderness within, I must venture into the darkest and most arid corner of my mind.  This is the only way that I feel like I am being genuine with you all. It is true that the only way out is through.  

Sure I could fake it and pretend that all I saw was graced with gloriousness, but over the past week it hasn’t been that way for me.  I hold close with confidence that by getting this off my chest, the path will clear itself of my well-worn mind’s debris.  It is time we talk about hell.  

Horrors Of Hell

Hell is the state of the soul powerless to come out of it’s prideful self; it is absolute self-centeredness, dark and evil isolation, and the final incapacity to love.  It means to be engulfed in an agonizing moment, which yawns with the abyss of infinity, so that the pain plays repetitively in the mind, while stabbing sharp through the heart.  Hell creates and organizes the separation of the soul from God. 

Hell is not God’s action upon the soul, retributive and punitive as that action may be—it is the absence of any action of God upon the soul, the soul’s incapacity to open itself up to God’s influence and its complete severance from God.  

God’s Mercy

The horror of hell is not something inspired by thoughts that God’s judgment will be severe and merciless.  God is love and mercy, and to give one’s fate to Him means to overcome this horror. In reality the horror is to have our own fates left in our own hands.  It is not what God will do to us, but what we will do to ourselves.  Hell means that we don’t fall into the Hand of God but instead we abandon ourselves to our own devices.

Every soul is sinful and subject to darkness and cannot by its own power come into the light.   The soul will feel inclined to pass into the twilight of dreams written upon semi-existence.  Its own free efforts cannot bring it to true and being.  It is in the essence of Christianity that we see this designed by these two scriptures.

“The Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”

Luke 9:56

“I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.”

John 3:17

The coming of Christ should be seen as not an outward threat of judgment, but an inward recognition that salvation rests within—salvation from the hell that we have so maliciously spent our entire lives preparing for ourselves.   The coming of Christ is the turning point for the soul of man, which builds up the Kingdom of God instead of digging for the depths of hell. 

 Salvation Within

Without Christ, our Savior, the Kingdom of God is unattainable for man.  Man’s moral efforts alone do not bring him to it.  If there is no Christ and no change of heart connected with Christ, hell in some shape or form is inevitable, for man cannot help but create it.  The essence of salvation is liberation from our own hell, to which all creatures naturally gravitate.  

Hell will not come into eternity, it will remain in time, and hence it cannot be eternal.  One of the voices that howls through my soul tells me that all are doomed to hell, because all more or less doom themselves to it. But this to the fullest extent is reckoning without Christ.  The other voice that speaks from the goodness of my heart, says that all must be saved, that man’s true freedom must be enlightened from within, without any violence being done to it—and that comes through Christ and is salvation.

In the midst of this spiritual awakening, I no longer think of the devil as outside the human soul, he is engrained in it and means that it is abandoned in itself.  Christ frees the soul from the devil.  Hell, without question exists, yet it is revealed to us in experience, and it may be our own lot. Hell belongs to time and is temporal. Everything that is in time is temporal. The victory of eternity over time leaves hell and its so called powers behind.

Hell’s Intimidation

The idea of hell has been turned into an instrument of intimidation, of religious and moral terrorism. Our real horror is not in the threats of a transcendental Divine judgment, but in the immanent working out of human destiny from which all Divine action has been excluded.  The most merciless committee is that of one’s own conscious; it brings with it torments of hell, division, loss of wholeness, a fragmentary existence.  The only judgment God shall enforce upon us is a downpour of grace upon the creature. His judgment establishes true realities and makes them all secondary to the heights of Heaven, not in a permissible but a metaphysical sense.  

I now see something hideous and morally revolting in the idea of eternal torments as retribution for the sins of a short moment of life.  Eternal damnation as a result of things done in such a short period of time, known as life, is one of the most disgusting manmade nightmares.  But one thing is unquestionably true:  after death the soul rich in Christ goes on to Heaven, the soul that never believed in God’s Power goes on to some other plane of being, as it lived before birth.

The Answer Is Christ

The life in our world between birth and death is merely a crumb compared to our destiny, incomprehensible when regarded by itself, apart from the eternal purpose of a man. It is Christ alone that can conquer the horror of hell as a manifestation of the creature’s freedom. This is the last and final demand that dictates the conscious—to have the conscious and the courage to direct all the power of your creative spirit through Christ to free everyone from their own hell. And the rise of hope in this belief is the only way through this wilderness within.

Author’s Note

It has been a rough couple of weeks. My depressed mind has been taken over by the grind and has been working overtime with work and all else in between. But 2019 is going to be here in the blink of an eye and I will be spending a few days in one of my favorite places in the world, Alabama Hills, just outside of Lone Pine, California.  I have to leave town with just my camera, my tent, my bible, God, and me.  Once again, I have to find myself.  I must take this beast within and seek some holy waters for the sake of baptismal purposes.

As Christ said, the seed in the ground must die.  To be a seed in the ground of one’s very life is to dissolve into that ground in order to become fruitful.  One disappears into love, in order to “be Love”

I am finally getting somewhere with the book, so with that being said, this blog will only be posting once a week on Friday’s, starting this Friday.  Hope you all had a merry everything and have a happy always. Thanks for stopping by. Til the next time.

-BeLove

Dirty Laundry

The point of writing my name to you is that I see who you are, you see who I am…and that’s what it’s about.

Here is but a post that is two years overdue, call it an extended bio if you choose.  And it is true, today marks the second anniversary of the beginning of this little creative outpost.  The point of writing my name to you is that I see who you are, you see who I am…and that’s what it’s about.

My name is Ryan Love. I am 41 years young. My nickname is Buddy out west and Bubba back home, hence the Be. Home being the hidden, paradoxical beauty of Alabama. I now live just down a mountain pass from the majestic splendor of Lake Tahoe in beautiful Carson Valley, Nevada.  I moved out West sixteen years ago today as well.  

A loving and God-fearing family raised me.  My mother, bless her soul, with her ability to harness all of our shit, mainly mine, still amazes me.   Though my siblings are significantly younger, we have managed to stay close, even with the age difference and me being so far away from home.

My beautiful family just outside of Yellowstone.

I am a single dad to a four-year-old son walking away from a collapsed marriage that I had a strong hand in tearing down. Now I am finding my purpose through God.  I am learning how to live alone with Him half the week, the other half I am trying to be the best father to him that I can be. 

I was once considered an alcoholic—I for one may not have been, but then again that’s what I perceive from within. I was always one to skirt the idea of moderation, and that is in itself a glaring sign of alcoholism. As I stand today, without staggering, I have almost learned how to master my self-control, ‘tis but the season though, for loneliness to creep up on the right thing to do.  

Nowadays I am a Chef in the casino industry, so temptation does flirt with me on a nightly basis, and it is quite the task shaking myself loose from it on those Friday nights when the adrenaline drip is more or less at a steady stream. But the beast within has found purpose and unity with God especially when he gets to push around this pen.  And it is true that once I let the wolf in, he has become my greatest teacher.  

I first realized that I had a knack for writing when I was in Journalism back in high school—many, many moons ago. I covered the sports beat for the high school paper because I was a bit of a jock and I could spell, which back in those days didn’t always go hand in hand.  But then I started to dabble with illegal substances and my dream of making it to the big leagues of life and baseball fell apart.  As much as I said no to drugs, they never listened.  So let me be a lesson, don’t do drugs.  

When not working, my hobbies include writing, reading, snowboarding, exploring God in the wilderness around me, photography, fly-fishing, and creating memories and art with my child.

The weight of the world on my shoulders.

I have questioned authority at every crossroad in my life. I have always said that I knew the rules but the rules did not know me. This sometimes breathes true even today. I have those who have egged me on, and of course myself.  One could say my friends and I were nothing but a bunch of heathens, such is adolescence I guess. But we have a bond between us that will last a lifetime and maybe more.  A bond that will never be broken.  

I tried my hand at college, but much to no avail because I was too smart for school. Oh good ole fashioned hindsight. It’s worth the mention that I do not regret a damn thing, well maybe one or two things, but that’s neither here nor there. The memories that haven’t faded are still as precious to me as the moment they were created.

Then I fell head over heels in love with a girl. Sure I’d been through the ringer with cherry-popping puppy loves, but this one touched my soul. Next came the heartbreak and the words they rained like poetic tears from the depths of my being. These words were not very well situated in the lyrical sense, still debatable whether they are nowadays. Nonetheless, my soul had finally come to the center stage of me. Then it vanished for a long time, the beast, my ego came front and center, with no intent on feeding the soul. 

Opening up my soul. 

In the midst of my efforts of dealing with heartbreak, higher learning, hallucinogenics, and a Pink Floyd obsession, I started writing in the sense of reality. I fell in love with the Beat Generation: Kerouac, Ginsberg, Cassady, and di Prima.  They were all so transcendental and unique, with all of the philosophical and Zen undertones it was hard to not fall in love with them. Then I read “On The Road” by Kerouac and my soul fell sick with the travel bug. I traveled far and wide looking for a home away from home.  

At this stage in my life I considered myself agnostic. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe, as much as I didn’t want to believe one way or another, sort of like taking the high road. And I really to this day do not know why. Sure I had a sturdy moral compass that would fall out of whack from time to time, but for some reason my ego thought intellect was more reasonable than God.  More on this down the road.

The Fountain Of Youth. Lake Tahoe. Surrounded by little hints of Heaven.


Then came my second taste of spiritual awakening, or maybe it was a crisis, maybe both are one in the same. Who knows? It was in 2008. I took some classes at the local community college, and finally got around to reading “Heart Of Darkness” and I became consumed with the elements of good and evil within man. I couldn’t stop writing.  My writing evolved at a rapid rate this time around.  Something was opening up within me. 

From here I turned to an infatuation with the Donner Party, so much so that I wrote a screenplay about it. The chaos, the demons of hunger, the capability of what man would do to survive blew my mind wide open. The events that surrounded that winter of 1847, made my mind move in directions it never had, what if we were living in Hell?

This is when I first felt a newfound purpose through my own doubt and God made sure that I felt Him as he started coursing through my veins.

As soon as my soul would bark back, the beast would only tighten his grip, choking the life out of my softness. Then I gave up my passion of writing because my head was swelling instead of moving in linear directions. The beast couldn’t handle it without the soul, and didn’t feel the need to collaborate.  And I was still questioning God and his antics. From there I put down the pen and decided to focus on my career as a Chef, being a Chef feeds the ego.

Then came 2016, my child was two and a half. God had very much proved his existence through the eyes of my child.  But I became sick at the hate that was dividing our blessed country in half. And yes I sort of blamed God.  This is when I first felt a newfound purpose through my own doubt and God made sure that I felt Him as he started coursing through my veins.

The reason why I will never give up on Love or my dreams.

I could no longer stand pat within the herds of ignorance and mediocrity. I felt that maybe my way with words could plant seeds that would bloom into hope and salvation, something that made love seem not so distraught and grow into something more beautiful than the world had ever seen.  After all what a man sees in the world, he carries in his heart.

Then came a vessel out of nowhere that showed me the true light of God’s work. This vessel gave flight to a new me, and readjusted my system of beliefs. I felt a creative spark that I had never knew existed. Sure being a Chef came with avenues upon avenues of creative effort, from managing different personalities, to creating specials, to setting the standards for the simplicity of a kitchen’s flow. But something was different with this creative spark from writing, to photography; my soul had found its home within the walls of creative gusto.

Always looking for God’s light through the lens of all things.

I have come to find it humbling that the wilderness within the eighteen inches from my head to my heart is the purpose of my journey in life. And I am humbled that you all still listen.  And I have learned that I am much happier talking to myself, rather than listening to myself.  Try it.  It works.

 

 It is in the darkness of faith at the foot of the cross that the light will always flicker.


Now here I am still fighting my inner demons, trying my damndest to keep the beast on a leash, hoping to mind my head, and surrender my heart to the power of God’s Love, and just maybe the consistency of me watering my own seed through prayer and devotion will breathe consistent with my purpose while these words with their rooted message of hope, love, and faith for all mankind shall forever spring from the bottom of my heart.  And now every day I awake by acknowledging my dependence for God above and my need for His mercy. 

Recently I was saved at my family church back home, but I still have a long and winding path ahead. It is in the darkness of faith at the foot of the cross that the light will always flicker.  And the reason why I feel this way is as follows.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Every time we look at the cross Christ seems to say, “I am here because of you, your sin, your curse, your debt, your death, I am here for you.  Nothing in the universe cuts us down to size like the cross.  We all have self-inflated views of ourselves, especially in the self-righteous state, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size.” If anything speaks the truth it starts with minding your head.

One more thing you may not have known about me. This band Widespread Panic, they are very much a part of me, I have traveled all corners of this land to see them, I have made friends of a lifetime through the most hospitable scene behind a traveling circus of music.  And even though panic is the one thing that is widespread in this world, it is an honest tune with a lingering lead that has taken me this far, and will always leave me wondering. 

This is a story of me. And who knows maybe you may come to find out a little about yourself as I find me.  

Godspeed.

-BeLove

Rambled With Love

Love shoves me around this sanctuary of life; it recoils from within like a celestial gong as it reverberates within your soul.

Love brings us around. Love guides us drifted throughout the day.  Love, love, love, it lifts us up when feeling down.  Love walks with two steps upon the ground and four steps in, it sails with the wind.  It is love. It is solace.  But I do not care if it is solace.  I am no longer attached to solace.  I love God and that is why love will always carry me around wherever I choose to go.  I do not pay much attention to anything anymore if it is lacking in the realm of His love.  I haven’t the time for anything else but love.

And when the time clock of toil rings within my ears, it is like pulling teeth trying to make myself shift with the grind of life all because of love, this secret love, hidden love, opaque love, down in the depths of me and all around me, where I won’t talk about, where I don’t care to talk about.  And anyways, I don’t have the time let alone the energy to consider such trivial matters.

I only have time for the divinity of eternity, which is just another way of saying love, love, and more love.  Maybe a bit more common sense would snap me out of this, but love has always been seen as spotless through the mirror of clarity, and this I’ll always tell you.  I am not attached to it (one would hope) but it is love and it pierces with tenderness through the core of my being, where it is stamped soft upon the bottom of my heart.

Love shoves me around this sanctuary of life; it recoils from within like a celestial gong as it reverberates within your soul.  And I must be honest—love is the only thing that gives this heart of mine the gift that continues to tick.

Love radiates the way everything looks today.  The way it was up early this morning painting the dawn with shades of a bluebird.  These mountain peaks, they speak lovely in the silence of snowfall.  And through this patch of fog, or is it a cloud, or may it be smoke if You will, but it is love, and right now it is all I choose to see for You are here with me.

The boy, my child, he bounces brisk through the crackling snow, each of his footsteps symbolic for the fire sizzling within the comforts of the beast.  His thousandth question within the hour stumps me with a selfless attention and just like that the beast is gone.  He’s off seeking the answer somewhere buried in the depth of a childhood memory.  The boy he brings a balance to the beast, he keeps him bustling wild and on his toes.  I hear him sing a song under his breath, though hidden by the ruffling leaves, I begin to see, to hear, to sense the man he will grow to be within the love of You that now blooms in me.

This is the way things have come to be after prayer, and speaking of You while having a picnic with my child. Everything seems so mysterious yet simplified in Your Presence.  Your Son, Christ died for Love, not just in the collective sense, but within all senses, and even our very own sins, and this is the way that I shall write this, too. For once I feel whole because I am full with You.  You are the Love in everything I see as my own child has now taught me.

This is how “love” works, as I so often stood stoned by the choir of my thoughts, the less I worried about creating, the more possessed I became of Love.  There is a valuable lesson to be taught in the wealth of being poor in love.

Oh love, why can’t you leave me alone?  This is but a question built rhetorical in meaning: so please for the sake of Heaven don’t leave me alone.

At all times we must cooperate with love in His house, and His love sets a fast pace even in the first mile of the marathon, and if you don’t keep up, you may stumble and fall far behind.  And yet any speed is too slow for love—and no speed is too fast for you if only you would allow His love to lift you off your feet—after that you have to sail the “whole” way.  But it is only in our dual nature that we choose to come down from cloud nine and just walk instead, such is patience one would guess.

Allow me to be poor in the Light of You.  I’ve had a tough stretch of doubt, my thoughts twisting and turning, too much, as usual—such is the mind of a creative—always producing problems out of reality’s thinnest of air. This business sometimes burns me, and so I seek some proof.

Be exalted in your strength in the Lord; we will sing and praise your might.

Psalm 21 : 13

I am all dried up of desire and can only think of one thing—I shall stay put by this fire of You that burns so deep inside me.

These demons, my faults, my desire have all run dry, and yes my soul has softened like a wax the closer I am drawn to the candle of You.  We have come a long way turning the beast into creative energy, these shadows into support, my fear into fuel, my failures into kindling, my weakness into strength.  Let us not waste these agonies of life.  Let us use this pain to recycle all hearts with the Spirit of Love.

Amen.

-BeLove


Guided By Grace

That natural breath, the one you just took—it keeps renewing, from moment to moment, your life, as you know it.

To live “in Christ” is to live in a mystery equal to that which is the nature of life.  It is “in Christ” where we are united as One with Him.  When we accept Christ into our lives, He dwells in us as we were our own superior self.  It is through Christ that we are united with God by identifying our inmost self with Him.

From the moment that we respond with faith and charity to His love for us, a mystical union dwells within our souls.  A “new being” is brought into existence.  One becomes a “new man” and this new man becomes one identity through the spiritual awakening of Christ within.  The gardener of Galatia spoke of this to the minds of early believers.  This mystical union of being with Christ as one “new man” is the work of the Spirit of Love, or the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

The union of two natures in one person through Christ is a union that is perfect and indestructible, a union of God’s essence in one existing entity.  The union of a soul with God through Christ may just be a fortuitous union, but nonetheless it is more than just a moral union or an agreement of hearts.

The union of the Christian with Christ is not just a resemblance of fondness and feeling, a mutual agreement between thoughts and resolves.  This union carries a quality with it that some may see as radical, mystical and very much mysterious.  It is a mystical union in which Christ Himself becomes the source and the principle of all that is divine in you.

Christ Himself, breathes in you, divinely giving you His Spirit.  The ever-transformed mission of the Spirit to the soul that is in the grace of Christ is to be seen as a metaphor for breathing.  That natural breath, the one you just took—it keeps renewing, from moment to moment, your life, as you know it.  It is the grace of Christ moving through you.

The mystery of Christ, the Spirit, it is selfless love.  We receive Him in the “inspiration” of secret love, and to Him we give to others, the outgoings of our own charity.  A life in Christ is then but a life of both receiving and giving.  We receive from God, in the Spirit of His Love, and in the same Spirit of Love, we return our love to God through others.


Allow me a moment.

Lord, if I have this divinity inside me, what do the calamities of pain and pleasure, hope and fear, joy and sorrow, matter to me?  They seem to not be my life and they do have little to do with life.

Why should I fear a thing that cannot rob me of You, and why do I desire anything that cannot give me possession of You?  All of these exterior elements will come and go, so why should they intrude upon me?

Why does my joy excite me and my sorrows bring me down? And why should either of them make or break my day?

Why is life so attractive and death so dispelling if I only live in the life that You have so graciously gifted to me?

Why should I fear to cease to be what I am not when I have already become something of what I am?


It is the easiest thing in this world to possess the life and the joy in Christ.  All one has to do is to believe and love.  Yet people waste their entire lives in the trenches of industry, making sacrifice difficult to get things that make reality impossible.

This is one of the chief contradictions that sin has thrust upon our souls.  We have to treat ourselves with such violence just to keep ourselves laboring uselessly for what is vicious and without bliss, and we have to somehow compel ourselves to take what is tranquil and full of joy as though it was our last resort, because as a whole the path of least resistance leans into the ways of our greatest hardship and it is sometimes that what we are to do, is in itself, most easy, just may be the hardest thing in the world.

Amen.

-BeLove


I have no idea who these kids are but I’ll be damned if you all aren’t amazed by her voice.

Presence Of Prayer

What matters most in prayer is not to always be right and seek external forgiveness, but for you to carry a heroic heart filled faithful with grace and with love.

The man who does not warrant his spirit to be struck down and wounded by aridity and vulnerability, but who lets God lead him with peace through the wild, and desires no other support or guidance than that of pure faith and God alone, comes to find himself surrounded by the Promised Land.  He will savor the joy in the air within the union of God.  He will, without “seeing” a thing, have a consistent, comforting and mysterious awareness of the presence of God, acting upon all the events that make up his life.

The man who comes to find himself no longer afraid to abandon all of his spiritual headway into the hands of God, to put prayer, virtue, reverence, grace, and all of the other gifts within the presence of Him from Whom all gifts must come, will walk with peace in alliance with Him.  His peace is all the more sweet—because it is uninhibited from all care.

Just as the light of faith is darkness to the mind, is the supreme mystical activity of the mind and our will sharing prayer with His infused love.  There are times when prayer seems to us like inaction. This is why it is in the nature of our faculties to become restless with anxiety.  This is why sometimes our mind refuses to keep still.  It seeks to become the sole proprietor of its own act.   Just the thought that it cannot act according to its own spontaneous impulsion brings about it a suffered humiliation that the heart has to fathom.

As soon as there is any coherent indication that God is drawing the spirit into the ways of prayer, we ought to remain at peace in this prayer that is uttered with simplification, stripped of acts, our inner echoes wiped clean of images, while waiting in an emptiness of expectancy for His vigilant will to be done within us.   This waiting should be lacking anxiety and without a deliberate hunger for any experience that comes in close contact with our knowledge or memory, because any experience we feel we can grasp or understand would be shameful to the state in which God wishes upon our souls.

When the imagination (though it will remain active) no longer offers pleasure nor fruit, but only tires and upsets you even though it rests on the most attractive of natural things, it is wise to go get lost in the woods—to rekindle the imagination with God.  And it is then that you find peace layered in positivity derived from the fruits of resting in the expectation of God’s essence.  This is better than just sitting around persecuting your mind and your will with labors of vanity that try to finagle a few intimate affections out of them.

If you reflect to deep within your negative state, you will see your mind absorbed in a vast, ambiguous thought of God and your will becomes haunted, with a shaded and half-defined desire of God. These combine to produce in you the anxiety and darkness, which make eloquent and exacted acts seem so hard and futile.  And if you allow yourself to remain in this silence you may find that this thirst, this hunger that seeks God in the darkness, will grow within you and at the same time, although you find nothing that is tangible, peace begins to establish itself in your soul.

If and when praying, your mind simply departs and your will turns petrified—and you find yourself leaning upon a gate thinking about what you are going to have for lunch in half an hour, you’d be none the wiser to keep occupied with the definitive distraction of daily chores.  There is always the possibility of laziness lurking in the shadows of prayer.  This laziness will dress itself in the façade of a prayer spoken with simplicity, followed by degenerating into a sheepish sleep.  The absence of pure activity in no way turns you into a contemplative being.

This is a where a book has been known to sometimes help.  It is the Bible that most may use, but it can be a “spiritual” book of any kind to get you started in the sort of prayer where there isn’t much thinking involved.  As an example that caught my attention I have chosen the following scripture to share with you all.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3 : 5

When you find a paragraph or a sentence that appeals to your “state” of being, refrain from reading further and turn that sentence over in your mind and absorb it, and rest in its cosmic dance with the serene and effortless consideration of the thought, and not just in the details but as a whole, as something savored in its entirety—and so pass from this to resting in the quiet suspense of God.  If you find distraction running rampant, go back to the book—with the crucifix around your neck being held in hand—and read whatever sentences you see until the silence of His presence fills your mental prayer.

“a voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.’”

Mark 1 : 3

It is also out in the wilderness of these woods, alone, under a tree with nature as our only companion, where one comes to find distraction lacking.  The sweeping serenity of these swollen white peaks blanketed by Autumn’s first snow, painted beneath the sight of November’s waning moonlight—this is the beauty of Your nature—and it is enough to keep this prayer of mine riding the quiet interior “powder day” of Your peace and my desire for hours at a time.

The absence of activity in active prayer is only apparent.  Below the surface, the will of our mind is drawn into the orbit of a mystical activity that is deeply intense, which will flow furious into our being and bring forth eternal fruits.

There is no such prayer in which one does absolutely nothing.  If you are doing nothing you are far from praying.  On the other hand, if God is at the source of your bustling interior, the works of your faculties are beyond conscious judgment, and the results may not yet be seen or even understood.

Prayer is a simplified yet deep spiritual activity in which the mind and the will rest with a unified concentration upon God, turned inward to Him, intent within Him, and absorbed by His light, and as we gaze with adoration, as to say with silence towards Him that we have left everything by the wayside—no more expectations.  It’s just You and I, and I shall go with the flow within these channels of Your joy, that You so graciously placed in a conscious stream in front of me.

What one needs most in these journeys filled with darkness is an unwavering trust in His Divine guidance, as well as the courage to risk everything for Him.  In many ways the journey will sometimes seem like a foolish gamble.  And you may well ramble upon many mistakes.

Humility and obedient submission to the guidance of Christ will neutralize the effects of your many mistakes.  Even Christ himself wasn’t always right.  But you must trust in God, who writes straight upon crooked lines and extracts great goodness away from the trenches of evil.

What matters most in prayer is not to always be right and seek external forgiveness, but for you to carry a heroic heart filled faithful with grace and with love.  If God calls one to Him, and He subtly places a promise upon one with all the graces one needs to reach Him.  One will be blindly faithful to said promise.

Yours Truly—

BeLove


Author’s Note:

I have removed the like button moving forward.  All these words need is your eyes.  The comment section is open for business.  Please feel free to reach me in the collective sense.  Thank you for taking the time to read.  Godspeed and God Bless.

 

Enlightened Prayer

So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root. 

This morning I woke up and finally understood what I thought was arduous to understand. Progress.  It is the most industrious word in the English language. There is nothing that can undermine the very definition of the word progress.  The moment one decides to take a seat and deny progress the chance at defining itself, one should just go ahead and accept expiration’s invitation, so to shorten the pursuit of Paradise.  So without further adieu.

For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 10 : 10

Dear God—

It is in the purpose of this prayer that I look to find an expansion in my personal realization of Your love, and in the awareness of You that in light of my negativity that I find the positive side of myself.  It is as well in Your purpose that through this prayer I hope will lead to a further exploration and the discovery of a new dimension in freedom, illumination, and most of all love.  So please allow me to deepen the awareness of my life through You.

Through the experience of struggle I must now empty myself—I must let go of everything that makes up the old me and hope for full recovery in the grace of You.  Your grace it brings inner peace to us all.  It is through the resurrection of Your Son within me, that I hope to practice a newfangled method of mending my mentality—it is my hope that these methods shall take hold and transform this little life of mine.

It is in the personal awareness of You that the “mystical” experience of Your wisdom gives way to a self-renunciation of sorts, in which I see the silhouette of commitment walking closely by.  This commitment I now understand should be demonstrated at the highest level—way beyond the vagueness of intellectual assent and external obedience.

It is true that he, who looks to act and do “good works” for others of this world, must deepen his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and his own capacity to love, before he will truly be able to offer anyone anything.

He must come to grips with the deeper understanding of who he really is, and while I feel I am really close, it is possible that I may never know who I truly am. But with You at my side and in the depths of this prayer I feel something click within more than ever.

And while I feel that I have dissolved the boundaries of what rests within me to become more whole in the Presence of You.  We both know that more demons, are lining up, waiting there turn at trying to penetrate my soul, and bringing with them pain and suffering.

But with You in my heart, I have all the confidence in the world that the strength You give to me is all that I shall need to nurture these seeds You have planted within and all around me.  So as I walk away towards today—I thank You for the light of Your positivity and I look forward to seeing You in everything that I do and all that is taking root.

Much Love-

BeLove


A Spirit Moves

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19 : 11

When social disorder and military dependency occupy the world surrounding man, certain men will turn their attention towards the mystics of all that is spiritual.  Spirit alone implies personal freedom.  And those who walk the wilderness alone will come to find a spiritual freedom they never thought possible.

These words today—all they amount to is a sort of scaffolding—setting the frame for the spiritual house of me, being built by Him above.   And as the hammer hits the nail, this is what I heard.

“Therefore whatever you see your soul desire according to God, do that thing, and you shall keep your heart safe.”

Is it so obvious that a path of solitude can only be traveled by a man whom is very aware and sensitive to the landmarks of hidden meaning in a world so dark?  The hidden Will of You, it is different within the perception of every soul, though You do not move through difference, You move through us indifferent and collectively.  It is fear that separates the duality in us all with its disparateness.

When walking alone I came to find maturity in Your faith, and humbled as well.  I learned to detach from myself, to a certain degree that some perceive as poor and borderline detrimental to my sanity.

But it is true, that at my most disruptive point in this life, I’ve found this peace and it flows through You, and my mind has never thought so true.  As we’ve said, all one needs to do is seek You.

And is it true, those of us who fall the hardest hold a special place within You?

It is to the edge I walked looking for You and on my way back I found You.  So what now are we to do?  You are a mystery I have learned to love and pursue.  I feel You begin to take shape in my soul—and as a creative being—it is my goal to capture and express You as You move through me.

And perhaps I should feel guilt—that by doing this—some day I will be able to fully grasp these mysteries that flicker in the darkness above.  But should I feel guilt when creating my dreams?  Is that not why you gave them to me, to create them?

If there is one thing that dreams, purpose, and You have in common, it is in fact mystery.

And maybe the only way for a man to solve these mysteries was for him to lose himself to the wolf.  The hidden half of his duality that was transcendent, mysterious and little known—yet little did he know had long been lost in Christ.

Maybe the other half had to die for the ideals of transient existence, the same as Christ died for us on the Cross.  Just to rise from the dead, whole with Christ at his side, walking with the light of an entirely new wisdom written with purpose.  And is it true, is each mind a tomb?

And maybe the ends to these means of striving are nothing but the hope for the purity of my heart. A clear and unhindered view of my dreams coalesced with a vision that sees the true state of things—that which all others must have a grasp, that there own inner being is anchored, rather lost, in God through Christ.

Is that the secret when finding You? Is it to see You in everything we do, even in the music we listen to?  It is no matter what path—there is no mind, no matter, just a path to You that weaves free with pattern through a wilderness some call wild…but I call home.

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like a garden; It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing.

Isaiah 35 : 1-2

For those that have stuck with me, those who haven’t, and those just passing through, I thank you.

May God bless you all with bliss.

-BeLove