Let the wolf delight, to howl and to bite. For God has made him so.—BeLove
If energy is delight and enthusiasm is beauty, the wild depressive knows more about delight and beauty than anyone else. Who else has so much energy and exuberance? I believe the psyche fleeces a certain strategy to increase depression. Isn’t it Freud who said, that happiness is nothing but the remission of pain? The more pain—the more intense the happiness that follows. But there is a prior origin to this, and the psyche—it does create hell on purpose.
All life is, is pondering between then and now, between birth and death, seeking answers to the most influential questions. Such brooding doesn’t always make us any saner, and some may sink into drink, when the answers they seek drive them a little too wild. It has always been me versus madness in my life, and madness has proven much stronger over salvation. But not this time around and I will tell you why.
All this thinking, writing, with it’s feeling sometimes seems to count for nothing. It’s naught but an attack behind the allied lines of my mind—seeking the beauty of my thoughts—and as of late the only effect is except it has worn me out. The noble idea of being a poet or a writer has made me feel at times like a clown or a fool. Maybe humanity no longer needs art and inner miracles. It already has so many outer ones.
So before I can carry on with the green and lovely shades of this wilderness within, I must venture into the darkest and most arid corner of my mind. This is the only way that I feel like I am being genuine with you all. It is true that the only way out is through.
Sure I could fake it and pretend that all I saw was graced with gloriousness, but over the past week it hasn’t been that way for me. I hold close with confidence that by getting this off my chest, the path will clear itself of my well-worn mind’s debris. It is time we talk about hell.
Hell is the state of the soul powerless to come out of it’s prideful self; it is absolute self-centeredness, dark and evil isolation, and the final incapacity to love. It means to be engulfed in an agonizing moment, which yawns with the abyss of infinity, so that the pain plays repetitively in the mind, while stabbing sharp through the heart. Hell creates and organizes the separation of the soul from God.
Hell is not God’s action upon the soul, retributive and punitive as that action may be—it is the absence of any action of God upon the soul, the soul’s incapacity to open itself up to God’s influence and its complete severance from God.
The horror of hell is not something inspired by thoughts that God’s judgment will be severe and merciless. God is love and mercy, and to give one’s fate to Him means to overcome this horror. In reality the horror is to have our own fates left in our own hands. It is not what God will do to us, but what we will do to ourselves. Hell means that we don’t fall into the Hand of God but instead we abandon ourselves to our own devices.
Every soul is sinful and subject to darkness and cannot by its own power come into the light. The soul will feel inclined to pass into the twilight of dreams written upon semi-existence. Its own free efforts cannot bring it to true and being. It is in the essence of Christianity that we see this designed by these two scriptures.
“The Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”
“I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.”
The coming of Christ should be seen as not an outward threat of judgment, but an inward recognition that salvation rests within—salvation from the hell that we have so maliciously spent our entire lives preparing for ourselves. The coming of Christ is the turning point for the soul of man, which builds up the Kingdom of God instead of digging for the depths of hell.
Without Christ, our Savior, the Kingdom of God is unattainable for man. Man’s moral efforts alone do not bring him to it. If there is no Christ and no change of heart connected with Christ, hell in some shape or form is inevitable, for man cannot help but create it. The essence of salvation is liberation from our own hell, to which all creatures naturally gravitate.
Hell will not come into eternity, it will remain in time, and hence it cannot be eternal. One of the voices that howls through my soul tells me that all are doomed to hell, because all more or less doom themselves to it. But this to the fullest extent is reckoning without Christ. The other voice that speaks from the goodness of my heart, says that all must be saved, that man’s true freedom must be enlightened from within, without any violence being done to it—and that comes through Christ and is salvation.
In the midst of this spiritual awakening, I no longer think of the devil as outside the human soul, he is engrained in it and means that it is abandoned in itself. Christ frees the soul from the devil. Hell, without question exists, yet it is revealed to us in experience, and it may be our own lot. Hell belongs to time and is temporal. Everything that is in time is temporal. The victory of eternity over time leaves hell and its so called powers behind.
The idea of hell has been turned into an instrument of intimidation, of religious and moral terrorism. Our real horror is not in the threats of a transcendental Divine judgment, but in the immanent working out of human destiny from which all Divine action has been excluded. The most merciless committee is that of one’s own conscious; it brings with it torments of hell, division, loss of wholeness, a fragmentary existence. The only judgment God shall enforce upon us is a downpour of grace upon the creature. His judgment establishes true realities and makes them all secondary to the heights of Heaven, not in a permissible but a metaphysical sense.
I now see something hideous and morally revolting in the idea of eternal torments as retribution for the sins of a short moment of life. Eternal damnation as a result of things done in such a short period of time, known as life, is one of the most disgusting manmade nightmares. But one thing is unquestionably true: after death the soul rich in Christ goes on to Heaven, the soul that never believed in God’s Power goes on to some other plane of being, as it lived before birth.
The life in our world between birth and death is merely a crumb compared to our destiny, incomprehensible when regarded by itself, apart from the eternal purpose of a man. It is Christ alone that can conquer the horror of hell as a manifestation of the creature’s freedom. This is the last and final demand that dictates the conscious—to have the conscious and the courage to direct all the power of your creative spirit through Christ to free everyone from their own hell. And the rise of hope in this belief is the only way through this wilderness within.
It has been a rough couple of weeks. My depressed mind has been taken over by the grind and has been working overtime with work and all else in between. But 2019 is going to be here in the blink of an eye and I will be spending a few days in one of my favorite places in the world, Alabama Hills, just outside of Lone Pine, California. I have to leave town with just my camera, my tent, my bible, God, and me. Once again, I have to find myself. I must take this beast within and seek some holy waters for the sake of baptismal purposes.
As Christ said, the seed in the ground must die. To be a seed in the ground of one’s very life is to dissolve into that ground in order to become fruitful. One disappears into love, in order to “be Love”
I am finally getting somewhere with the book, so with that being said, this blog will only be posting once a week on Friday’s, starting this Friday. Hope you all had a merry everything and have a happy always. Thanks for stopping by. Til the next time.