I awaken with the most pristine moment of the day. Dawn is just around the corner and I hear the innocence of creation ask with consent to just be blessed again, as it is was on the first morning that ever was.
It is wisdom that seeks to assemble and manifest itself at that blind, sweet spot of creation. Wisdom does not seek to succeed as it falls into contemplation, for we must not ask permission of anyone except God to find what it is we seek. As I turn to face this morning as a man with an impervious purpose, I look to the shadow of me and let God take the reigns within. And to the shadow I speak in silence.
Perhaps I am stronger than I think. Maybe I am even scared of my strength, and turn it against myself, making me weak. Maybe I think this will make me secure, yet I feel guilty. Perhaps I am most afraid of the strength, which you God, have placed in me. Perhaps a part of me would rather be ridden with weakened guilt in myself, than be strong with You, whom I don’t yet fully understand. Or perhaps, I am just thinking too much and I should just allow the silence of You to wash over me, while finding the courage and faith to know that You will lead me down today’s path.
And from the depths of contemplation, the darkness begins to fade behind creation’s first light.
Contemplation suggests lingering pleasure, timelessness, and a sort of suave passivity. But this isn’t the light of contemplation. Contemplation is not about enjoyment, not happiness, or even peace for that matter. Contemplation is about creating a transcendent experience of reality and truth in the act of a supreme and spiritual love. The important thing in a contemplative state is not about gratification, but it is about awareness, life, creativity and finding your own freedom.
It is a fact that contemplation is our most essential spiritual activity. It is our most divine act of creativity. It is dynamic affirmation of the divinity within us. Contemplation is not the suave and slothful of “being” in a darkened complacency. It is a flash of divine light piercing through the darkness of pain and suffering.
Contemplation is not tied to the process of abstract thought, but on the contrary it is concrete and as existential as thought can be. Contemplation is the celestial confrontation of man with God, of the Son with his Father. It is when Christ truly awakens within us, that the manifestation of the Kingdom of God in our own souls begins. It is the triumph of truth and of divine freedom, in our innermost “being”, in which the Father becomes one with the Son in the Spirit, which is then given to the believer.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139 : 13-14
Again I speak silent to my shadow.
Perhaps, You do move through me in mysterious ways, and perhaps I should apologize for doubting your means to my ends, God. And for that, I am sorry. But let it be known, that I thank you for the grace you have allowed me to understand, and the elegance of your Love that will always fill my spirit, and that everyday I am more hopeful for the path that you have laid ahead for me.