*This is the first of a two part series about what it takes to find finesse in a crisis.

I would like to use this slightly uneven platform of mine to discuss what I believe it takes to find finesse in a crisis. I will use my most recent experience of witnessing the past week’s solar eclipse as an inflection point of how important totality is, when forcing the hand of a crisis with finesse. The solar eclipse could be considered a transparent piece to the puzzle of me. I would suggest not looking directly into the light that traces the words from my heart or the abyss of my essence. It may leave you partially inspired and it is my hope that these words leave a lasting impression.


What is a mid-life crisis? It is most defined as a conversion of identity and self-confidence that occurs in the middle ages of man. It is when psychological and behavioral patterns in a person change with drastic force, for better or for worse. These patterns in behavior differ from each individual to the next. The occurrences that affect an individual for worse are entailed with mild bouts of depression, guilt, and angst. The occurrences that have been known to affect an individual for the better are typically accompanied with an overwhelming desire to recreate their youthful demeanor and reinvigorate their so-called spunk. In the past year I have experienced both sides to this inevitable crisis that we will all go through at some point in our lives. As I am writing this, I am two weeks away from forty. In my opinion this is primetime for the aforementioned crisis.

I have wondered more than ever over the last ten months of my life, what exactly my purpose is in this thing called life. I have lugged around a hefty hunch that there has always been a path laid for me and that it was going to lead me to some preconceived Promised Land.   Maybe it has?  Could I very well be taking the scenic route towards my inevitable destiny?  Only time will tell if I actually look the lessons I preach, in the mind’s eye.  My problem has always been that I expect results with a quick-like demeanor.  I have always figured that by exposing a literal upheaval of my deepest thoughts and emotions that something better would come my way full circle, sooner rather than later. Instead my anxiety level has peaked and my process of thinking things through is in full-blown panic mode.  It was just recently that I found myself smack dab in the middle of a reawakening, beneath the totality of a solar eclipse.  Now it is time for me to touch on  the significance of what it takes to find the finesse that all of us have the ability to recollect when a crisis strikes at the foundation of our being and threatens the moral fabric in which our lives are threaded with.

Over the past year, I have been demonstrating some of the shadowing symptoms that exhibit the condition of some sort of crisis.  The more important ones that I would like to share are as follows.

  • Wanting to run away from everything that I have built
  • Finding new artistic avenues of creativity, i.e. photography
  • Harnessing a precipitous interest in writing
  • Sleep patterns deviate towards depravity
  • An aspiration to envelop myself with different surroundings
  • Resuscitating things which I dropped decades ago, i.e. Poetic Past
  • A desire to change the world for the better
  • A longing to heal others

When I mention to the people that are closest to me that I may in fact be in the midst of a midlife crisis, they don’t agree with me.  Instead, they inform me that I am just going through a period of transition.  After seeing the seeing the solar eclipse in its path of totality, I would have to agree with them to an extent.  I do not believe that I am in the midst of a midlife crisis.  I believe that I am in fact going through an existential crisis. You may be asking what is the difference between an existential crisis and a midlife crisis?  I believe there to be a significant difference between these two crises. An existential crisis is virginally metaphysical.  It is when one tends to question the reason of their existence; therefore one redefines their reason for living.  It is supposed that an existential crisis happens more in those who think more often than not about the implicit state of their existence in the betterment of the world.   A mid-life crisis tends to lean into the fact that one questions the accomplishments of the goals set earlier in life.  It is typical for one to seek more joy and pleasure in life with the determination that by obtaining new possessions their life will take on more meaning or they will live up to the lofty expectations that were set for them back in the days of adolescence.   On the level of an existential crisis, there is no need for a change in possession.  There is only a need for a change in the direction in which your dreams are pointed and to the volume of which your existence is amplified.


It is now time to discuss the long-term changes that occur during the short-term celestial phenomenon known as a solar eclipse.  A solar eclipse brings with it an unsurpassed amount of positive and powerful unseen energy.  This is especially significant when the New Moon is as closely aligned with the star known as Regulus, as it was during this eclipse. It is the brightest star in the Leo constellation.  This star has always emitted a passionate and confident energy in the light it emits for all of us to see.  This star has been said to reawaken the truth and the light in the heart, and it has also been known reestablish the sound from the depths of your soul.  In the moments leading up to totality and those following, I did feel a reawakening of the truth within the light of my heart and my soul did and is still reeling with a newfound invigoration to proceed with the task I have carried in hand for almost a year now.

The amazing thing about a solar eclipse is that it brings together light and darkness, which is critical as to what path you choose, when standing at the junction of a crisis.     The fact that these two polarizing objects meld into one force, makes it that much more fascinating that at the very exact time of this phenomenon, while we are blessed with a rare moment of totality, we ourselves are given the ability to feel an interconnection of pure wholesomeness, we for a moment understand our place in the Universe.  The inner sense of satisfaction and supreme being are showered upon us by the grace of God.  The totality of this eclipse and the Corona from which the Sun bared her only light for two and a half minutes could be symbolized as a spiritual alchemist of sort.  Our spirit has been surrounded by a major shift in the light of transformation.  Our spiritual cognizance is being calculated to spring into the divinity of the Light that crosses through each and everyone of our hearts.  As I have said before, the answer to this life rests within each and every one of us, this has never been more evident to me as it was while witnessing the Totality Beneath The Tetons. During those two and a half minutes as I felt the serenity that Teton Valley has always carried with it, I was at peace with myself, then as I heard all of those that surrounded us for miles, I found myself awestruck at the Love that was being showered down on us from Heaven above.   This is one of the few moments in my life, I will never forget. The joy that poured from the far reaches of my heart and soul, while a 360 degree sunset was wrapping itself around us, much like a snow globe, can only be compared to the day when my son was born. When the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth came together, as they did last Monday, so did my Mind, my Body, and my Soul, and no they are not for sell, just my words;)


One way to start finding finesse in the mess of whatever crisis you may be going through is to be patient and to allow the unforeseen forces that are working with you instead of against you the time to come to fruition.  Patience is a virtue and it isn’t always easy to wait for that virtue to show up, without getting a little antsy.  Just continue to finesse your way through your phase of self-discovery by doing what makes you happy and soon enough you will find your happiness where it was hiding all along, right there within you.

The reason why I have to divvy this up into a series of illustrative “essays” is because I have a few deadlines to meet as far as this game of writing is concerned.  I have joined a couple of writing competitions, mainly to see how I stack up against other writers in this here sea of well-calculated storytelling and advanced word placement, I am confident that I can swim with the bigger fish in the sea.  I like to think that my level of procrastination is my secret weapon because I always seem to perform better with my back against the wall and the clock ticking closer to the dreaded deadline.  So I will be back soon to shower you all with my enigmatic ways.  Until then, remember the time to grow and believe in yourself is now.  Take those positive thoughts that are flowing through you and weave them into your dreams and watch the fruition of success ripen before your very own eyes. I leave you with a few photos from my path on the way to the Promised Land.

And of course a song.






Remember the only way to stop hate is to focus on the Love that surrounds you.
See you all soon.
-Be Love-


My roots are buried in the Dirty South. I grew up learning the importance of God and Southern Charm. I began writing in my late teens mostly through heartbreak and music. I moved out west 15 years ago and live right around the corner from the Fountain Of Youth. Most people refer to it as Lake Tahoe. I play Chef during the day and search for ways to save the world by night, through reading, writing, and believing. I enjoy the side of life that is less abrasive. I look forward to joining you on my quest through Spiritual Sobriety with the Promised Land as our ultimate destination.

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